Key Messages
How To Overcome Your Fears And Create Lasting Change
Have you ever wanted to make a change in your life, but found yourself held back by fear? You’re not alone.
The Courage Habit by Kate Swoboda is designed to help you confront your fears and live a more courageous life.
In this book, Swoboda uses her experience as a life coach to show readers how they can take control of their own lives and conquer their fears.
The book focuses on teaching readers how to investigate their deepest fears and reframe the stories they tell themselves so that they can make positive changes in their lives.
It also explains why it’s important to focus on interrupting your cue-routine-reward cycle, as well as how to effectively engage with the inner critical voice.
Finally, the book provides advice on how imagining your “liberated day” can set you on the path towards change.
By reading The Courage Habit, readers will learn how to confront their fears and live with more courage and self-confidence so that they can truly achieve their goals and desires in life.
Overcoming Fear: How To Make Life Changes And Find More Courage
The root of all anxiety and stress that we feel when being called to make a radical change comes from fear.
We may feel overwhelmed or unconvinced with the idea of beginning something new, not realizing what is causing the feeling and how it is connected to our habits and routines.
Choosing the predictable route instead can give us a sense of comfort since it satisfies what patterns our brain likes.
But living courageously begins with pinpointing the role that fear plays in our habits and routines.
When seeking to embark on a journey of change it’s important not to ignore or fight these feelings, but rather sit with them, embrace them, and look for ways to form new experiences by breaking out of the status quo.
This could include practicing courage through engaging with one’s own fear and developing a four-step process of using courage as thoughtfully as possible – The Courage Habit.
By recognizing fear in unfamiliar situations and understanding its part in everyday life, one can be more prepared to take risks while maintaining clarity of purpose moving forward, eventually discovering better ways to live accordance with their needs rather than their fears.
The Courage Habit: Learning To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone And Reclaim Your Courage
The Courage Habit teaches us to be honest about our own desires, which in turn allows us to become our most courageous selves.
The first step of the habit is to figure out what we truly want by envisioning our Liberated Day: an ideal day free from fear and worry.
This exercise encourages us to ignore external cues, like validation from others, and hone in on our internal cues instead – those things that make us feel the most authentic.
Take Ellen, one of the author’s clients as an example.
After mapping out her Liberated Day, she realized she was happiest when reading and discussing books with other people – instead of continuing on her path as a sales rep.
This allowed her to take the action needed to pursue a new career – pursuing her dream of getting a master’s degree in literature and living more modestly.
The next step is focusing on three primary focuses goals that draw on both tangible items (like traveling somewhere) and intangible items (like understanding why something didn’t work out).
Asking ourselves questions like “What makes me curious or excited? Where do I want to be in six months? What patterns am I tired of?” will help identify these goals while considering how they can benefit others.
And finally, keep in mind that trying something new often means making mistakes.
Failure isn’t fun but it’s good for building resilience and staying focused; don’t stop pushing forward until you’ve achieved your desired results!
Recognizing And Overcoming Our Fear Routines To Follow Our Dreams
Fear can be one of the biggest obstacles to achieving our goals, but learning how to harness our fear and make it work in our favour instead of against us is crucial if we want to succeed.
That’s where The Courage Habit: Claim Your Fear Routine by Dr.
Brené Brown comes in.
In this book, Brown explains how our emotional lives are strongly influenced by the habits that we practice on a daily basis.
She breaks these habits down into a three-part cue-routine-reward cycle, which includes an initial feeling (the cue), a behavior (the routine) and the reward that comes from that behavior.
For example, let’s say you go to a coworking space in order to focus on your writing but all the other writers there fill you with self-doubt so you decide to leave.
In this case, the self-doubt is your cue, the leaving is your routine and the feeling of momentary relief is your reward.
Brown explains how fear routines such as perfectionism, martyrdom, pessimism or sabotaging oneself can be identified and disrupted so that they no longer have power over us.
So while it might not be possible for us to eradicate fear altogether, we can certainly quash its power by claiming our fear routines and learning from them so that they don’t keep us from achieving what we want out of life.
Taking The First Step Toward Courage: How To Access Your Body And Identify Fear
When it comes to facing fear and making positive changes in your life, it’s important to be able to identify the physical sensation of fear that arises in your body.
By accessing the body and becoming mindful of the sensations you feel, you can start to understand what emotions are behind these sensations.
For instance, a tightness or tension in your body might be a sign of fear.
These physical manifestations can be so strong that they make it hard for us to take the steps needed for change.
Janelle, one of the author’s clients, experienced this firsthand when she noticed a pit in her stomach – which upon further exploration turned out to represent her fear that she wasn’t being a good mother.
Once you have identified the physical sensation of fear in your body, you can begin to take steps towards creating new habits and routines that better serve you.
This might mean performing activities like dancing or running, practicing yoga or visualizing yourself in a happy state and noting what it looks and feels like.
Whatever works best for you!
And if you’re afraid that intense feelings might overwhelm you and derail your day, then “putting a container around the experience” is always an option: set up boundaries such as time limits or talking with a friend afterwards that will help bring perspective back into focus.
Taking control of our thoughts and emotions is how we make real progress within our lives!
How To Gain Control Of Your Inner Critic And Develop Compassion For It
When you have an inner critic constantly telling you that you are not good enough, it can be easy to feel intimidated.
But there are ways to engage with these critical voices without letting them take control over your life choices, like in the book The Courage Habit.
One of these methods is through the tool of Re-do, please.
When your Inner Critic emits statements that are disrespectful or insulting, try using Re-do, please and ask the Critic to rephrase its words or demand respectfully.
Doing this could help you gain insight into what it really feels afraid of – and in many cases these fears can turn out to be rooted in childhood experiences.
Once this connection is established, it is possible to treat the Critic with compassion and understanding.
Even though it might seem counterintuitive, the way for us to heal ourselves and free ourselves from the control of our Inner Critic is by offering love and kindness towards it as well.
Reframing Limiting Stories Helps Us Take Back Control Of Our Lives
Reframing limiting Stories is an important part of the Courage Habit, helping to create positive changes in your life.
It takes your existing stories and allows you to look at them from different angles, giving you a better perspective on how they’re affecting your life.
With this new perspective, you can see beyond what was previously holding you back and instead focus on what’s possible for yourself.
For example, Carolyn was stuck in her own Story – she didn’t want to commit to a job that paid over $100k because she feared it would take away the freedom and fun she enjoyed with the barter system.
When she realized her Saboteur fear routine was actually limiting her potential for personal growth and financial stability, she was able to reframe her Story and open herself up to the possibilities of taking this job.
The Courage Habit teaches us that stories don’t just shape how we view ourselves but also our relationships and experiences with others.
Furthermore, while affirmations are often empty optimism without basis, reframing stories offers empathy towards oneself which then unlocks the doors of possibility that may otherwise have gone unnoticed or neglected.
If you feel stuck in a certain area of your life, take time to ask yourself why and consider the Limiting Stories that could be holding you back from achieving success.
Find Your Courageous Community To Help You Follow The Courage Habit For Lasting Change
Living a courageous life involves more than just developing your own inner courage.
To maintain the courage and resilience you cultivate, you must surround yourself with people who share and honor that same value.
People who are invested in their own growth and who demonstrate “reaching out” behaviors like vulnerability instead of pretending, problem-solving over complaining, listening, empathy and showing kindness rather than critique can be your invaluable source of support for continued courageous living.
Harvard University research from 1994 shows that social support systems play an important role in habit-formation as well as your overall emotional wellbeing.
Finding your own separate or collaborative support networks can help start to put roots down for habits such as courage to take hold.
Start by considering people you already know, invite one person first and begin cultivating that connection accordingly through relationship building steps such as expressing vulnerability or repeating back someone else’s feelings in order to show your understanding of their experience.
Unhealthy criticism or resistance are bound to happen at some point though, so be prepared to set boundaries if those behaviours don’t align with the values they need to uphold in order to keep this new Courage Habit alive.
Don’t forget that growth is ongoing so it may take practice until acts of offering kind gestures become second nature – but once you’ve mastered The Courage Habit putting yourself into uncomfortable environments no longer need feel daunting as you’ll have a plethora of strategies just ready for use!
Wrap Up
The Courage Habit by Kate Swoboda outlines the key steps to cultivating courage in one’s life.
The first step is to break down and confront your fears, by examining the sensations and thoughts of fear and reflecting on the stories you tell yourself.
It is also important to form a “courageous community” with whom you can share your struggles and successes.
The final step is to celebrate any changes or shifts in thinking, attitudes and behaviours that come out of this process.
As such, it is important to recognize and acknowledge the effort you have made, as well as tune out any internal voices that may refute your accomplishments.
In conclusion, engaging in The Courage Habit will encourage personal growth and development, making for a more courageous social life.
