Key Messages
Uncovering Our Inner Chimp: How The Computer And Chimp Sides Of Our Brain Influence How We Decide, Feel, And Interact With Others
Do you ever find yourself behaving in a way that is not in line with your better judgement? We all have an internal “chimp” inside of us that can take control of our emotions and behavior.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
With the right knowledge and understanding, we can learn to outsmart our inner monkey and take back control.
The Chimp Paradox book summary gives us insight into the various brains we possess – the computer part, the chimp part, and how they both interact.
It also explains how we communicate in four main ways and how these different forms of communication make up who we are.
Finally, it teaches us how to determine when our chimp side is dominating our decisions so that we know when it’s time to rein it in.
By equipping ourselves with this understanding of our own minds, we can learn to outsmart our inner chimp and control our emotions and behavior for a better life!
How To Manage Our Inner Chimps And Make Rational Decisions
The Chimp Paradox teaches us that our human brain and its inner chimp have two distinct ways of thinking that often come into conflict with one another.
The first is the “human,” or rational, part of the brain located in the frontal lobe which processes information based on facts.
On the other hand, the part of the brain located in the limbic system–the inner chimp–processes thoughts and emotions more primitively and immediately.
When these two contradicting systems clash, it is usually the more primal inner chimp that comes out victorious.
Imagine John being late for work because his neighbor blocked their driveway; hearing his complaint, Pauline asks why he’s complaining since everything had been sorted out already.
In this situation, if John’s human brain were to prevail he would understand Pauline’s comment simply as a fact and move on but his chimp might take it as an attack leading to a fight sparked by irrational thoughts and emotions.
It is therefore essential for us to be mindful of when we are allowing our immediate emotions to take control of our decisions over facts so we can handle any conflicts constructively instead of allowing them to escalate.
Managing Our Inner Chimps: How To Reign In Your Emotional Side With Exercise And A Safe Environment
Managing our inner chimp requires giving it the room to vent.
To do this, it’s first necessary to determine which of the brain’s two parts is in control: the human or the chimp? Simple questions that begin with “Do I want…?” can help answer this and reveal that the chimp is in charge.
Once we’ve established this, we can manage our inner-chimp problem by utilizing an exercise.
This means allowing yourself to express your emotions in a safe environment without censorship for up to 10 minutes and saying whatever comes to mind.
This can offer relief from pent up emotions and let them fade into the background.
It’s important that this safe space is necessary for this technique; don’t go ape on anyone around you!
By following these steps, we can manage our inner chimp by giving it room tovent.
Doing so will ensure we’re living more harmoniously with both our human and chimp sides.
The Computer Part Of The Brain: Understanding Automatic Behavior And How To Combat Negative Goblins
Automatic functioning is an essential part of human existence.
We do so many things on autopilot, like making our morning coffee, that it can be easy to forget how much it helps us in our daily lives.
But while it’s helpful to have patterns that we follow without thought or effort, this same automatic behavior can also have a destructive side.
This is why learning about the computer part of your brain – the one responsible for these automatic functions – is so important.
It can help you understand where your actions are coming from, and how you can adjust them to your benefit.
For instance, if you’ve grown up around loving people, there’s a tendency for you to assume that everyone loves and values you – even when it isn’t true.
This thinking pattern can cause issues down the line if it’s not corrected.
That said, recognizing these patterns and discerning which ones are good and which ones are bad is the first step toward making positive changes in our lives.
And understanding how goblins (destructive patterns) form and operate in our brains is essential for eliminating those that don’t serve us anymore.
That might mean taking a moment to hug or affirm your child rather than automatically praising their accomplishments as soon as they come home with something new; or reacting differently when someone fails at something rather than just letting them fall into a pattern of failure.
Ultimately, while automatic functionality plays an unquestionably important role in life, it’s also wise to be aware of its more dangerous side – especially since most of us have experienced its effects firsthand at some point or another!
How To Replace Negative Goblins In Your Computer With Positive Patterns
It’s time to get rid of the goblins in your computer!
We can do this by first identifying these negative patterns, and then replacing them with positive alternatives.
In order to identify these goblins, you need to be aware of their presence.
This requires being attentive to your state of mind and recognizing when those negative goblins come up.
Once they are identified, you can start replacing them with more positive patterns.
For example, if there is a goblin telling you that you’re worth less than others, replace it with the thought that you are just as good as anyone else around you.
You will want to repeat this process every time the goblin surfaces, until these view become part of your autopilot and handling stressful situations becomes a lot easier for you.
By following these steps, you will be able to effectively get rid of the goblins and make sure that your computer is running smoothly!
Calming The Chimp: Understanding Others Requires Patience, Creativity And An Open Mind
It’s easy to forget that different people have different brains and opinions when the chimp takes over.
The chimp tends to assume that everyone thinks just like him, which can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings if we don’t remind it this isn’t true.
The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters has provided many with methods to help silence the chimp still these habitual behaviors, so that they can better understand what others think or feel.
For instance, one of Steve’s clients was the father of an 18-year-old autistic boy with unusual behavior such as using an entire bottle of shampoo during his showers and asking endless questions when his dad returned from work.
These sorts of quirks demonstrate how differently people can view situations, even within a family setting.
These three points can prove helpful in order to better relate to others: first, try not to make assumptions about them; second, set realistic expectations; and thirdly, check any unconscious bias you might have against someone.
Allowing yourself to accept them for who they are will make it easier for you both to connect and communicate smoothly.
The Benefits Of Assertive Communication: Avoid Conflict And Improve Your Relationships
When it comes to communicating with others, there are four basic ways that people use: your human brain can talk to another person’s human brain; your human brain can talk to another chimp brain; a chimp brain can talk to a human brain; and a chimp can communicate with another chimp.
The latter of these is often what leads to arguments and misunderstandings between couples, as the communication tends not to go very well.
To avoid such disagreeable scenarios, it’s best to know how to get your point across in a way that’s assertive rather than aggressive.
Being assertive means dealing with issues calmly, openly and directly.
Rather than simply telling the other person what you don’t want, expressing how their behaviour makes you feel and clearly stating what you do want is key for setting up good conditions for communication from the start.
For instance, if someone gets angry at you for being late for a dinner date, an assertive response would be explaining why this made them feel intimidated before leaving out what is it that you actually want – which would be speaking in a calmer voice.
By understanding these 4 basic ways of communicating, greater synergy emerges when talking with different personalities while also knowing how to remain nonaggressive but direct when getting your point across.
Unlock Your Physical Wellbeing By Combating Your Mental Chimp
When it comes to getting healthy, it’s easy if you focus on solutions instead of problems.
In other words, don’t let the ever-tempting inner chimp take over and make you choose the quick comforts of junk food and laziness!
Instead, focus on what you want – in this case, that means being active and dropping a few pounds.
Make a plan for yourself and then stick to it; try getting a gym membership, for instance, and scheduling time with a fit friend to work out with.
But even if your plan fails from time to time – after two weeks or so – don’t get discouraged.
Just try to be responsive – instead of dwelling on your failures, remind yourself how much progress you’ve made, and how much fun physical activity can be.
This will motivate your emotional chimp who just wants to feel good about themselves.
Ultimately, getting healthier is easy once you focus on solutions rather than problems!
It’s All About Making Smart Choices To Live Your Happiest Life
When it comes to true happiness, it’s essential to do more than just wish for it.
You have to actively seek out what you need in order to be content and satisfied.
This could mean needing material things such as food, a comfortable home and a shower, or emotional needs like the love of a partner or respect from your peers and friends.
Make a list of the items that you need in your life and start working on making those items reality.
However, be mindful when doing so – because having too much to do can obscure all of your great accomplishments along your journey.
Thinking too much about future wins can lead you away from experiencing happiness at each progress milestone.
Take an athlete striving for an Olympic medal as an example; they may have picked up numerous wins throughout their journey, but if they never take the time to bask in the joys of these achievements, ultimately even the joy of winning an Olympic gold may not be felt – instead leading directly into thoughts of what’s next.
So remember: seeking out happiness is important, but don’t forget to appreciate every success along the way and celebrate your victories!
Wrap Up
The final takeaway from The Chimp Paradox is that we all have both a chimp and a human side to our brains.
Our chimp brain can be emotional, irrational, and impulsive while our human brain can be rational, thoughtful, and objective.
It is important to recognize these differences in order to have better relationships.
When choosing a partner, it is important to take both their chimp and human into account.
Knowing what characteristics you find unacceptable can help you identify potential deal breakers upfront.
Understanding your own character as well as the moods and patterns of your partner’s personality is necessary for making the right decision when entering into any romantic relationship.
