Key Messages
The Unsung Values Of Parenting: How To Raise Happy, Well-Adjusted Children
When raising children, many parents often focus too much on success and achievement.
However, putting pressure on children to perform can be damaging in the long-run and cause poor mental health.
The more important thing is teaching them to be happy, well-adjusted members of society by instilling values like trust, respect and independence.
This is what Esther Wojcicki addresses in her book How To Raise Successful People.
Drawing from her own personal experiences as a parent and teacher, she emphasizes that the best way to raise the next generation is for parents to be there for their children by providing the kind of loving support they need.
This means understanding their emotional needs such as encouraging open communication with your child, setting healthy boundaries and giving them space when needed with no strings attached – allowing them to make mistakes so that they can gain life skills from it.
In this way, you’ll not only be giving your child a strong foundation but also preparing them for adulthood in the most holistic manner possible.
How An Unhappy Childhood Can Lead A Parent To Reevaluate And Create A Better Future For The Next Generation
When it comes to parenting, Becoming a better parent requires taking the best of your parents’ efforts and leaving the rest.
This was something that the author of How to Raise Successful People had to learn for herself, growing up in a difficult home environment.
She recognized the damaging behaviour in her father, who told her that boys were more important than girls, and rarely gave her anything to play with or praised her accomplishments.
On the other hand, she saw how warm and loving her mother could be, which inspired her own journey towards becoming a better parent with open arms to each of her children.
She worked hard to create an environment of support and acceptance while teaching them how to make their own decisions and think critically.
By breaking away from some of the negative aspects of her father’s example – rejecting unyielding sexism – she was able to instill positive values in each one of her children that would serve them well on their paths towards success.
The author emphasizes that in order for us as parents to raise successful people, we must lay our foundation within ourselves; by being disciplined enough to identify what traits we should keep from our own upbringing and which ones we should discard.
We Must Learn To Trust Our Children For Their Growth And Development
In today’s world, there is a great deal of distrust and suspicion between people.
This lack of trust is reflected in the Edelman Trust Barometer, which found that the United States had the biggest drop in trust ever recorded.
People don’t just distrust institutions; they also don’t trust their neighbors.
A 2015 Pew Research study showed that only 52 percent of Americans feel that they can trust their neighbors.
This lack of trust can even extend to our own children.
For example, when the author’s daughter found out that she allowed her eight-year-old granddaughters to shop at Target on their own for an hour, she was alarmed at the possibility of something happening to them due to the mistrustful nature of modern society.
But it is important for parents to have faith in their children and demonstrate it through permitting them freedom and opportunity for independent action within reasonable limits.
It’s crucial for children’s self-esteem that they feel as if their parents believe in their abilities and trust them to do things on their own – giving your child this impression sets a standard of integrity which research shows will manifest itself in sharing, collaborative behavior, less aggression and ultimately equip them with good character necessary for life success!
Letting Go Of The Reins: Why Respecting Our Children’s Choices Matters
When parents fail to respect their children’s choices, they can have serious and even deadly consequences.
This is especially true among adolescents from affluent American communities, where feeling isolated from one’s parents is a major cause of suicide.
Take the example of Greg, whose parents wanted him to become a scientist but showed little interest in his passion for graphic design.
They pressured him into taking extra classes at school and eventually his mental health deteriorated leading to depression and withdrawal.
Fortunately for Greg he was able to persevere and pursue his dream of becoming an artist.
Unfortunately, many teenagers with interfering parents don’t come out on the other side so easily.
When parental pressure goes too far it can lead to the breakdown of communication within the family unit resulting in feelings of being trapped and having no way out; a darkness that can push a person toward suicide as the only option left open to them.
It’s important for parents to be conscious of this fact when raising their kids and try to avoid pushing them in one direction or another by respecting their own life choices and desires for their future.
Show your support for where they want to go in life without making them feel like their decisions will be met with disappointment or judgement if it’s not what you expected for them.
The Power Of Grit: Why A Growth Mindset Is Essential For Success
Successful children often have true grit and a healthy attitude toward failure.
This was certainly evidenced by Gady, featured by the author in her book How to Raise Successful People.
Gady was a talented writer and helpful classmate, yet he was overlooked for editor of his high school newspaper – an event which could have easily hindered his confidence.
However, Gady chose to look at the big picture and used this seemingly negative situation as fuel towards achieving success.
He continued to work hard on the newspaper and applied to Harvard University, despite not having the typical grades, impressing them with his passion along with resilience and good work ethic – otherwise known as ‘grit’.
Grit involves staying focused on your goals regardless of obstacles or adversities encountered.
Psychologists such as Angela Duckworth demonstrated in her book that successful people share two commonalities: crystal-clear goals and perseverance due to great levels of resilience.
Therefore, parents should build off this formula when raising successful children by nurturing their growth outlook on life rather than fixating solely upon luck without attributes such as grit being noticed or encouraged beforehand.
Instill grit in your kids today by recognizing commitment and effort made rather than results achieved for future successes!
The Benefits Of Collaborative Parenting: Giving Children A Voice, Respect And Agency
The debate over which parenting style is best is an age-old one, and in recent years some have argued that parents should be setting more boundaries for their kids.
But does more parental control always result in better parenting?
Researchers have found that an authoritative but not an authoritarian parenting style leads to independent, focused behavior among children.
This is different from authoritarian parenting which emphasizes parental inflexibility and a demand for constant obedience.
What’s more, follow up studies conducted by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind found that those children who had experienced authoritative parenting were less likely to become involved with drugs during adolescence.
However, the author shares that there may be an even better approach to parenting – collaborative parenting – which she believes psychologists have yet to explore.
With this style of parenting, the parent works with their child to accomplish tasks rather than simply telling them what needs to be done.
For example, rather than picking out the color for their bedroom and then instructing them on how to paint it, a collaborative parent makes a decision about the color together with their child – right down to selecting the right painting supplies!
By getting the kids involved in tasks and being open to their perspectives too, they feel more like partners instead of mere workers.
Studies have even found that as early as three years old children can appreciate others’ viewpoints along with their own.
An authoritative style of parenting offers some benefits for your child but a collaborative approach may take them even further down the path towards success in life!
The Unkindness Of Helicopter Parenting And The Need To Restore Kindness In Our Children
‘How to Raise Successful People’ by author Paul Tough asserts that children and their parents are now prioritizing personal achievement over kindness.
Harvard University’s Making Caring Common Project found that 80% of 10,000 surveyed students put their own happiness and success as their top priority, compared to only 20% who chose “caring for others” as their primary goal.
Participants also reported feeling that their parents would be prouder of them if they simply did well in school instead of engaging in compassionate behavior.
This shift in mindset may be driven by the increasingly popular parenting style known as the ‘helicopter parent’, where the focus is solely on maximizing a child’s chance of success.
This often involves excessive scheduling, close examination of report cards, and a lack of care for whether the child is kind or happy.
Such an approach was embodied in Chinese-American author Amy Chua’s book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, where she stated that she never even considered how her family was perceived as long as her children were besting competition.
Teaching Your Child Gratitude Can Bring Positive Mental Health Benefits
Gratitude is an invaluable trait that can benefit both yourself and those around you, so it’s no wonder that teaching children to be grateful is a top priority for parents.
But how can you instill these lessons in your kids?
It turns out, there are lots of ways!
For instance, leading by example and setting an example of gratitude in your own behavior shows your child what gratitude looks like in action.
When holidays roll around, take time to truly appreciate the gift someone gave you instead of tearing through presents without ever saying “thank you”.
You can also encourage your child to keep a gratitude diary.
Studies have shown that writing down what we’re thankful for actually stimulates our brains to feel even more gratitude, and it may help instill a greater appreciation for everyday life!
Ultimately, if parents teach their kids the importance of gratitude – along with kindness, independence and collaboration – they can set their children up for success now and later in life.
So don’t underestimate the power of showing gratitude – it just might make all the difference!
Wrap Up
The book “How to Raise Successful People” explores the importance of giving children the opportunity to discover their own identities and paths to success.
Rather than hovering over them and stage-managing every step, it’s more important for parents to model positive behavior and show trust, respect, and kindness towards their child.
Ultimately, this powerful message is one that any parent should take into consideration when raising their child.
By giving children the opportunity to find their own way in life, we provide them with invaluable experiences that will shape them for success.
So when it comes down to it: let your kids make mistakes and take risks – don’t hover around them too much!
Modeling positive attitudes yourself will help your children become resilient individuals who are well-equipped to handle failure.
