How To Love Book Summary By Thich Nhat Hanh

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How to Love (2015) is a must-have collection of teachings on love, written by one of the world's most popular Zen Buddhist masters, Thich Nhat Hanh.

This succinct handbook dives deeply into the concept of what it means to really love oneself, one's partner and the planet.

It is full of valuable insight and guidance that can help readers unlock their true potential in love.

From unlocking our deepest fears to allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, How to Love offers a wonderful journey of enlightenment and understanding that will result in profound and lasting change.

How To Love Book

Book Name: How to Love (Mindful lessons on love)

Author(s): Thich Nhat Hanh

Rating: 4.3/5

Reading Time: 21 Minutes

Categories: Mindfulness & Happiness

Author Bio

Thich Nhat Hanh is the author of the book, How to Love.

He is a renowned spiritual teacher and prolific author from Vietnam.

His teachings on mindfulness have been known around the world for years and he has written many essays, books, and poems.

Some of his famous work includes best seller books like Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames and The Miracle of Mindfulness.

With his new book How to Love, readers can expect to be enlightened with Thich Nhat Hanh's knowledge and wisdom to lead a peaceful and compassionate life.

How To Love: Thich Nhat Hanh’s Guide To Applying Mindfulness Techniques To The Thing That Matters Most

Nhat Hanh's

Thich Nhat Hanh is a globally renowned master of mindfulness and in his book, How to Love, he shares the lessons he has learnt about love throughout his years of practice.

Through this book, he encourages readers to apply the techniques of mindfulness to the one thing that matters most to us all – love.

He explains how being mindful can help you discover what true love is and also how respecting yourself is key to showing others genuine love.

Additionally, Thich Nhat Hanh offers advice on practicing sex wisely so that both partners can achieve true intimacy with one another.

By following his guidance on these topics and more, readers can become better at loving and interacting with those around them.

Mindfulness Is The Key To Experiencing Happiness And Sharing Love

It’s easy to think of love as something finite, when in fact it needs to be nourished and cared for in order to stay strong.

In the book How To Love, the author explains how happiness is the food that enables us to show love – both to ourselves and those around us.

With a focus on mindfulness, we can learn how to appreciate simple beauty such as a blossoming flower or a cloud that looks like a heart in the sky.

But experiencing these moments of happiness isn’t enough; we must also share them with others.

For instance, take a walk with someone who is preoccupied and worried.

Sharing your appreciation of your environment can bring joy into their life and remind them what it’s like to truly love something.

At its core, love must be nourished with happiness and shared with others if it is going to thrive and grow.

True Love Is All About Compassion, Joy, Loving-Kindness And Equanimity

Understanding the true nature of love requires that we recognize its four defining traits – loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity.

Loving-kindness is our capacity to bring happiness to others through mindfulness.

Compassion allows us to recognize the suffering of others, develop empathy for them, and deeply listen to their plight.

Joy is a lasting, deep happiness that can be gifted to another person.

Equanimity represents an inclusiveness that dissolves boundaries between ourselves and another person so that their pain becomes our own.

Recognizing these core characteristics of love can help us identify it when present in our relationships or direct interactions with another being.

Far from the shallow notion of what most consider a desirable partner in traditional terms, true love highlights the beauty of giving and understanding without expectation of something in return.

Nurture this concept through meaningful connections with those around you, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by an ocean of both refreshing and solid affection!

The Essential Elements Of True Love Include Self-Love Respect And Trust


In order to experience true love, we must learn to trust and respect ourselves as well as our partners.

Looking inwardly is essential; self-love begins with trusting your inherent goodness and compassionate nature.

It is just as important to recognize that we are already beautiful and accept ourselves for who we are.

Taking a critical view of ourselves or others does nothing but distract from the beauty of the world around us.

The same goes for respecting our partner – it’s not enough to simply think about it, the feelings need to be expressed outwardly too.

An example of this can be taken from an experience of the author at a retreat center in France, where he met a couple who were lacking something in their relationship – love and respect.

After some prompting from the author, their husband started telling his wife how much he loved and respected her, showing that action speaks much louder than words when it comes to expressing how you feel.

Love requires us to honour both ourselves and our partners by trusting and respecting them equally.

With understanding stored deep inside of our hearts, only then can we truly give and receive unconditional love in return.

How Spiritual Practice Can Help Us Learn To Love Genuinely

Spirituality and practice are crucial for those who are looking to learn how to love.

That’s because we have two bodies, our physical and spiritual body, and being in touch with our real emotions is key.

Spiritual practice helps us harmonize both these bodies and understand our emotions better.

Being aware of how others are feeling helps us recognize their suffering and establishes true intimacy, which is essential for love.

A good way of achieving that is through deep listening, where you take the time to pay attention to your partner and discover more about them.

Physical intimacy is also an avenue through which we can express our emotional intimacy with one another; it becomes a beautiful thing when done mindfully and lovingly.

Overall, spiritual practice not only nurtures happiness but can also help encourage love by helping us establish true unity between ourselves and others.

The Difference Between Sex And Intimacy: How To Practice Sex Wisely

It’s important to realize that sex and intimacy are two separate things.

When we refer to “we were intimate,” it is a euphemism, not truly accurate.

Sex on its own doesn’t create true intimacy, and that needs to be understood.

Without love, sex can be enjoyable but it is also unhealthy in the long run.

Desire gets confused with real love and genuine closeness when there isn’t a heartfelt connection present.

We have physical and spiritual sides, both of which need to be fulfilled for true satisfaction to be felt.

But if sex is approached without thought for the spiritual side of a person, loneliness can remain even after contact has been made.

To practice sex wisely means knowing when not to do it — having the courage to say no if you’re feeling too uncomfortable or simply not in the mood — and showing respect for yourself as well as your partner by discussing serious topics before engaging in physical contact.

Having mutual understanding of one another’s dreams and aspirations is key; this helps keep each persons’ desires at the forefront instead of ultimately disappointing them due to lack of communication or expectations not being met.

Although it can be frustrating if you find yourself disagreeing with what your partner wants sometimes, remember that sexual energy can still be harnessed in different ways if need be — such as engaging in activities like chopping wood, cooking or meditating — ways that don’t involve physical contact yet are still fulfilling experiences both spiritually and emotionally.

Developing A Shared Vision Is Crucial For Lasting Love

Lasting Love

It is essential for partners in a relationship to share the same aspirations, in order to truly connect and maintain their relationship.

This can be done through open communication and discussion, allowing each partner to express their values and goals clearly.

It also establishes unity, as when both have similar ideas about where they want to go in life, they can move forward together.

Committing to spiritual learning is one way for couples to cement their bond.

They not only learn from each other but also share their experiences by meditating or giving back positively to the world around them.

This even has the potential of uniting with like-minded people and growing into a whole community!

Loving communication is an important factor that leads couples down this path of shared aspirations; it helps both parties stay on the same page.

To do this, partners should avoid assuming that they know what each other is thinking or what would make them happy.

Asking your partner directly makes sure that you understand exactly what it is that they want or need.

As conflicts are inevitable, a respectful way of resolving disagreements is through deep listening – hearing out your partner’s opinion without interruption first before making your point heard too.

The aim here is not just about winning an argument but rather making peace with understanding each other’s views so it will benefit both parties in the long run.

Love Mindfully: A Two-Way Journey To Healing And Compassion

True love involves mindfulness – being aware and intentional when you express your feelings.

It means understanding everything about someone, including both the beauty and weaknesses.

Mindful love encourages one to suspend their judgment and take on an active role in assisting the person they care for.

This mode of action is often referred to as ‘karuna’ in Sanskrit – or “the ability to suffer with another person.” Compassion involves not only empathizing with someone but also taking proactive steps towards helping alleviate their suffering.

This is very similar to how a doctor treats one’s physical ailments – by being there to listen, understand, and ultimately provide healing.

Loving mindfully also entails that both partners be open to addressing the pain and difficult emotions of each other.

Gaining the courage to ask for help can open up many possibilities for mutual healing within the relationship.

Therefore, mindful loving involves becoming mindful, learning how to play the role of a healer, and having the courage to appeal for help when needed.

Three Sentences To Help Resolve Arguments And Open Minds To True Love

True Love

When it comes to resolving conflict and understanding your relationship, it’s important to question your assumptions.

Having a plan in place can help to manage difficult moments, but having the capacity to be curious and remain open-minded is the starting point.

Natures Nutrition’s How To Love book offers three key insights that can help you start this process: Firstly, express what you are feeling and why it’s difficult for you – this could be done verbally or through a letter; Secondly, recognize that your relationship matters to you and remain mindful of your own feelings during arguments; Thirdly, ask you partner to be part of the solution.

True love requires us all to look beyond our first impressions and understand how we both act when we are experiencing pain or suffering.

To do so, we all must have a willingness to question our beliefs about ourselves and our partner.

Think of it like an approaching sunset – even if it appears as though the sun is still in the sky, that isn’t necessarily true due to the natural processes at work in our environment.

With Natures Nutrition‘s How To Love by our side, we have access to key insights that remind us to question our assumptions about our relationships and rely on them for guidance when managing disagreement or confusion.

Wrap Up

The main message of the book “How to Love” is that true love isn’t about sex, romance or finding the perfect partner.

It is more accurately experienced as a commitment to being in the moment and understanding how to listen and empathize with those around us.

This requires an understanding of mindfulness, which is explored through spiritual techniques and practical examples from the author’s own experiences.

We gain insight into mindfulness by devoting our full attention to small moments in our everyday life such as hugging.

With dedication to mindfulness, we can develop deeper feelings of compassion and empathy which form the basis for a loving life premised on authentic respect and effective intimacy.

Arturo Miller

Hi, I am Arturo Miller, the Chief Editor of this blog. I'm a passionate reader, learner and blogger. Motivated by the desire to help others reach their fullest potential, I draw from my own experiences and insights to curate blogs.

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