He Comes Next Book Summary By Ian Kerner, PhD

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He Comes Next is an essential guide to understanding men and unlocking the keys to their pleasure.

This book dives deep into the intricacies of male sexual response, providing readers with invaluable insight that can open up an entirely new world of intimacy with their partner.

You’ll be introduced to tips on how to truly touch his heart as well as get creative when you’re touching other parts.

So don't just settle for average - explore new heights of pleasure and connection with He Comes Next.

He Comes Next Book

Book Name: He Comes Next (The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man)

Author(s): Ian Kerner, PhD

Rating: 4.5/5

Reading Time: 20 Minutes

Categories: Sex & Relationships

Author Bio


Ian Kerner is an internationally renowned psychotherapist who has produced notable work on the subject of sex and relationships.

His acclaimed book "She Comes First", was a New York Times bestseller and had been translated into more than a dozen languages!

Kerner draws upon his professional expertise as a sex therapist to provide readers with an intimate look into the nuances of desire, motivation and relationship dynamics between men and women.

He provides thoughtful insight into how to strengthen communication, trust and understanding in order to create meaningful, fulfilling romantic relationships.

She Comes Next: Reigniting Passion And Exploring The Male Sexual Appetite

Male Sexual Appetite

He Comes Next by Dr.

Ian Kerner provides valuable lessons on how to drive your man to sexual ecstasy.

It shows you precisely how to free yourself from the bad habits of self-gratification and experience an even deeper connection with your partner so you can both get the most pleasure out of sex.

In this book, readers will learn why Viagra is not necessarily the best option, how hormones like dopamine, norepinephrine and vasopressin can enhance pleasurable sensations, and tips for triggering a full-body global orgasm.

Whether you are trying to reignite those old sparks or just looking to spice things up in the bedroom, He Comes Next is sure to provide everyone with some great advice on getting the most out of their sex life.

Keeping A Guard On Your Genitals: How Men Physically And Psychologically Protect Their Sexuality

The pelvic area of a man’s body is an incredibly sensitive region, both physiologically and psychologically.

When it comes to self-protection, this part of the body is highly guarded by instinctive reflexes.

Two key areas are the penis and testicles – the glans of a non-circumcised penis is especially sensitive while the testicles will instinctively scrunch up closer to the body during sexual arousal.

The shaft of the penis also gets a lot attention and men can often become consumed with worrying about its size or hardness – to these men, it’s important to remember that penis size and hardness are not essential for female pleasure or achieving orgasm.

Finally, both the perineum and anus contain numerous nerve endings but due to societal taboos can be ‘as guarded as Fort Knox’.

It’s significantly important to create a channel of trust in order for these areas to be explored safely and consensually – this could lead to male G-spot stimulation which many say provides immense sexual gratification.

How Relationship Stages, Porn And Viagra Affect Men’S Sexual Performance

Many men struggle with sexual difficulties and anxieties, and one key reason for this is the “intercourse-discourse” that we have adopted.

This is the idea that sex revolves solely around a man’s penis and the act of penetration – an inaccurate way to think about sex which has led to many problems.

Porn can dangerously feed into bad masturbation habits where men try to cut straight to the chase when pleasuring themselves, often leading to rapid ejaculation and setting them up for further sexual failures in future.

We’ve also seen that drugs such as Viagra, created as a response to male anxiety concerning bed-room performance, have ironically only heightened those same anxieties.

All of this is great news for big pharma, but bad news for sex.

What’s needed then is an approach that looks beyond just penises and erections, and considers the psychological factors as well as the relationship as a whole.

With this holistic thinking we can truly move forward in having more pleasurable sexual experiences for both parties involved.

How To Keep The Desire Alive And Avoid A Boring Sex Life

Boring Sex Life

Desire is what makes sex exciting and fulfilling; it is the key to keeping your relationship satisfying.

In relationships, you typically go through three stages: lust, romantic love, and attachment.

Biochemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine play a huge role in how passionate the sex is in the first two stages.

The third stage of attachment is also fueled by biochemicals – but these are more calming hormones that promote comfort between couples.

However, the issue with stage three can be boredom – when sex becomes too routine or predictable.

To avoid this fate, it’s essential to keep desire alive.

According to a survey conducted by author Jennifer Fullerwood, most men reported that their best sex was at the start of their relationship with their partner; attributing it to their strong desire for one another at that time.

To help reignite this divine flame within your relationship, incorporating elements like novelty, surprise, mystery and spontaneity can make all the difference.

This aligns with biological anthropologist Helen Fisher’s research which shows that being infatuated puts your brain into overdrive; producing more dopamine than usual so you can feel an extra rush of pleasure while having sex.

Ultimately, going back to basics and rekindling desire will ensure that your sexual life remains fresh and engaging for years to come!

Embrace Your Fantasies And Let Your Imagination Lead The Way To A More Satisfying Sex Life

If you want to truly increase your sexual pleasure, then you should look into making fantasy part of your foreplay.

This means stepping outside the box and thinking beyond just physical acts before intercourse.

Instead of seeing an inevitable result in mind before getting intimate, use your imagination and actively exercise it during foreplay.

Studies have shown that exercising a healthy sexual imagination with someone can have tremendous benefits and at the same time boost desire and arousal.

Fantasizing is similar to dreaming, in that it can actually help relax both mind and body which can lead to better sex overall.

Exploring fantasies together is one great way to make use of fantasy during foreplay, as partners can further spur each other’s arousal by acting out or stimulating each other’s fantasies.

Exhibitionism such as frisky behavior in unexpected places or striptease in a private setting — all these activities help bring fantasies into reality.

Incorporating fantasy into foreplay can make sex more enjoyable for everyone involved; so why not give it a try?

Reigniting The Spark: Tips For Restoring An Emotional Connection And Enjoyable Sex In A Long-Term Relationship

If you want to make your sex life better, a great place to start is by creating an emotional connection and taking it slow.

When couples come to the author with their concerns about being sexually bored, often times their issue lies in not having the emotion in their relationship that they once had.

If this is something you struggle with as well, don’t lose hope – research shows that rekindling intimacy can be done easily.

It’s important to build affection into your daily rituals – at least hug each other three times a day and make sure these aren’t just cursory pecks!

Take time to snuggle up and let the embrace sink in until both of you feel that comforting warmth of the emotional bond being nurtured again.

Additionally, holding each other’s eyes during intercourse will increase the closeness many fold.

The other aspect that’s key for great sex is to relax and slow down arousal instead of rushing towards orgasm which many men are wired for.

Massages on his body work wonders here as does stimulating other parts of his body like neck massage, foot massage, pleasing lips or touching toes without resorting to genital stimulation yet.

Things like these help induce relaxation which leads to an amplified sexual experience since blood flow increases down there for improved erections when we’re relaxed versus flight or fight mode when nothing works out so smoothly.

Achieving A Global Orgasm: Tips For Unlocking Whole-Body Pleasure In Men

Global Orgasm

If you really want to give your man an amazing orgasm, then you have to move from stimulating him locally (i.e.

focus specifically on the penis) to stimulating him globally (i.e.

engaging his entire body).

To do this effectively, Natures Nutrition recommends getting him fully naked, tying him up, blindfolding and adding a full-body massage.

This will promote the release of vasopressin which creates feelings of security, comfort and calmness that are essential for intense orgasms.

When it comes to direct genital stimulation, keep the global sensations going by putting emphasis on gentle exploration and non-rhythmic strokes rather than rushing in.

You can make use of both hands and mouth to achieve that wonderful feeling of anticipation and surprise.

Finally, it’s also a great idea to play around with simultaneous upper and lower body stimulation – this is guaranteed to result in pleasuring double as many nerve endings!

How To Pleasure Your Partner During Male Masturbation

Feeling desired and appreciated starts before sexual activities takes place.

With He Comes Next, readers are taken through a journey of understanding how to maximize pleasure between partners by pleasing, squeezing and taking it easy.

The book begins with providing knowledge of the 3 stages of male masturbation that starts with filling, followed by stroking and eventually the “point of no return” – ejaculatory inevitability.

By being attuned to his feelings, partner’s can learn at what precise moments they should be applying stimulation; such as when gently tapping or pushing on the frenulum located just below the glans as well as lightly grazing the shaft with fingertips during filling stage.

During stroking phase, it is most beneficial for both to pleasure each other in way that includes licking slowly up the shaft (as if it were an ice cream cone) or even using a soft touch with your teeth for additional discombobulation.

Beyond just physical stimulation, build anticipation by rubbing his penis against her clitoris during intertwined lovemaking sessions.

For those times when things start to get too over-excited, remember to apply those squeezes down from the sensitive tip of his penis and once back under control – ease off regular genital stimulation!

Mind-blowing sex is achievable but only comes after knowing how best to pleasure each other through pleasing, squeezing and having good timing!

How To Give Your Partner An Amazing Orgasm: A Guide To Building Sexual Tension And Taking Control

Sexual Tension

If you want your man to have a mind-blowing orgasm, you need to keep him at the plateau phase for as long as possible.

This means building and expanding the sexual tension throughout his body.

To do this, use your hands in a “grasp and clasp” technique that alternates between long, firm strokes and short ones that focus on the frenulum (the part right under the glans).

You can add in some oral action as well – form a seal over his glans while making sure to bob your head or lick the frenulum.

When it comes to intercourse, make sure that you maintain control and dictate the angles and gyrations with his penis like you would with a vibrator or dildo.

When he’s close to reaching point of no return, hit the brakes and ease him away from the edge of ecstasy.

Then when it’s time for him to climax bring him back again for another round until you’re completely satisfied and then kick things up a notch so he can reach extreme pleasure.

To make your man come super hard, keep him at the plateau phase for as long as possible by building and expanding sexual tension throughout his body with “grasp and clasp” technique, oral action, maintaining control during intercourse and alternating between edging him off when peaking too soon versus ramping it up when ready to go all out.

Wrap Up

In He Comes Next: Man Awakened By Pleasure, author Doyen Pham emphasizes the importance of men being mentally and physically prepared for pleasure.

He argues that too often, men are overly focused on their penises, which can lead to a lifetime of restricted or unsatisfactory sex lives.

This book encourages men to let go of these inhibitions, open themselves up to new possibilities and feelings, and reach the heights of ecstasy they truly deserve.

Pham provides actionable advice — such as using the “I Had a Dream” method to share fantasies without judgment — so that men can work towards achieving full body orgasms and experiencing immense pleasure in their own unique way.

Ultimately, this book is about empowering male sexuality and helping them tap into a world of unexplored realms.

Arturo Miller

Hi, I am Arturo Miller, the Chief Editor of this blog. I'm a passionate reader, learner and blogger. Motivated by the desire to help others reach their fullest potential, I draw from my own experiences and insights to curate blogs.

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