Key Messages
Unlocking The Ancient Secrets Of Stoicism: How To Take Control Of Your Life And Find True Happiness
The Stoic school of thought within Greek and Roman philosophers, focuses on finding ways to lead a happy and content life.
As it has been for the past 2,500 years, the main lesson remains relevant today in terms of teaching us how to be content with what we have.
The Stoics emphasize the importance of understanding that some things simply cannot be controlled.
Derren Brown explains that by recognizing this fact, it lays out the foundation for achieving true happiness and leads to self-help in many areas like managing emotions, accepting financial limitations, and avoiding technology addiction.
One can learn to not allow material items determine one’s level of happiness, control their temper during challenging moments, and ultimately tame our technology intake so it doesn’t take a toll on our mental state.
All these skills are important elements of a Stoic guide to self-help.
Epicurus’ Teachings Show Us That Happiness Comes From Accepting What We Have And Avoiding Excessive Materialism
Stoicism builds on the insights of Epicureanism, and it can help us live more happily in a consumerist age.
Epicurus, one of ancient Greece’s most influential philosophers, argued that true happiness doesn’t come from relying on material goods for satisfaction, but rather from being content with what you have or could reasonably expect to have over the course of life.
This means accepting that you cannot always have everything you want – and this is a lesson echoed by Stoics.
In Stoic philosophy, accepting life as it is rather than trying to seek new pleasures or avoid hardships is vital for achieving happiness.
From living in poverty with a Berber family in Morocco’s Atlas Mountains to our own experiences in affluent societies beset by consumerism, Epicurean and Stoic tenets both suggest staying away from expensive luxuries that can cause financial strain.
Taking a page out of Epicurus’ and the Stoics’ booksight can help us find true joy and contentment apart from worldly possessions – something critical for living happily through every stage in life.
How Marcus Aurelius’ Stoicism Helps Us Take Responsibility For Our Emotions
Stoics believe that although external events and other people can sometimes be out of our control, our emotional reactions to them is entirely within our power.
This is a key idea that Marcus Aurelius highlights.
He believed that emotions are anything but permanent – they can change quite quickly in response to the external world.
As an example, your friend indifferently ghosting you may initially spark feelings of hurt and anger.
But if, upon making contact again, she apologizes for what happened and explains her actions were due to a family emergency — then all those negative feelings are likely to dissipate.
Aurelius believed this because he thought it was the stories we tell ourselves about experiences which really determine how we feel about them.
For example, if your partner forgot your birthday, it could be easy to fabricate a narrative connecting that moment with all other points in time when they have let you down — leading you to become overwhelmed with emotion.
But Stoics argue that this sort of behavior isn’t constructive because there’s nothing to be gained from mulling over the past — things have already happened and dwelling on them will only make yourself miserable without any benefit or positive outcome.
The lessons from Stoicism are clear: although the world around us might not always be in our control, we do have a say in how we react to those events and situations – so put simple, don’t waste your time worrying and focusing on what’s outside of your own influence — focus on taking control of your own mind and responses instead.
Embrace The Freedom Of Stoicism: Accepting What You Can’t Control
Learning to let go of the things you can’t control is a liberating experience.
This is the key message highlighted by Stoics, and it’s something to keep in mind when faced with a problem.
Accepting that some things are simply out of your hands can be hard, but is ultimately the right thing to do.
Take Epictetus’ first-century Greek philosophy as an example – he believed that the only two things we can control in life are our thoughts and actions.
Everything else must be accepted as it is – we cannot alter fate or influence what other people do and say.
By coming to terms with this mindset, we can reframe our problems and reactions better.
Let’s imagine that you feel like you’ve been unfairly passed over for a promotion at work – chances are, you won’t be able to change the decision made by your company, so just try to refocus on yourself and what you can control.
Focus on how your own thoughts and actions impact situations like this one instead of dwelling on things outside of your influence; it may sound simple but it leads to more clarity and freedom overall!
Focus On Doing Your Best And Let Fate Decide The Rest
When it comes to achieving your career goals, the best use of your time to concentrate on your performance rather than over-focusing on outcomes.
Working hard and delivering top quality output should be a priority but don’t make the mistake of excessive ambition which could come off as self-interested badgering.
It’s also wise to keep in mind that while you can do your best, there are some factors that you simply have no control over.
American actor Bryan Cranston perfectly sums up this idea of focusing on what actions you CAN control by emphasizing that when auditioning for a role, the only thing an actor has the power over is their performance.
This rings true for job promotions as well: focus on executing tasks to the best of your ability and if one opportunity doesn’t pan out, you can still take pride in a job well done!
The Stoic Approach To Anxiety: Understanding The Minimum And Practicing Prosoché For Inner Tranquility
Stoics focus on cultivating self-awareness, trusting first impressions and cultivating greater peace of mind.
They strive to create moments of clarity and harmony rather than get caught in cycles of anxiety looking for deeper meanings behind things or suspecting people of ulterior motives.
This is where Stoics practice something called “prosoché,” which translates as both paying attention and being aware in Ancient Greek.
This process allows us to detect any worrisome thoughts before they have a chance to take root, bringing greater inner peace.
With this approach, Stoics rely on their initial judgement when interacting with others.
For instance, if you asked your partner if they are attracted to anyone else, they pause before answering no—instead of assuming an ulterior motive that would likely lead to a troubling conclusion, trust that their pause is due to thoughtful consideration in responding honestly.
The idea is also applied when someone projects themselves towards their goals—such as quitting smoking for good—to remind them not to be discouraged by lapses along the way; it does not make them a failure, but rather simply part of the journey trying for perfection.
The Dangers Of Anger: How Tokeep Your Temper In Check
Anger can be damaging and destructive, leading to unfavorable results that leave us feeling unhappy and regretful.
This is why Stoics in the ancient world saw it as an enemy of reason – it impairs communication, inhibits thoughtfulness, and destroys the things we care about most.
We can clearly see this in our own society today; everywhere there are stories of people who have exploded with rage and destroyed their relationships or opportunities.
Take the example of a former colleague in the television business: after being criticized for his lazy project management, he lashed out with a lot of anger, accusing those around him of lies that had been told behind his back – resulting in laughter instead of any serious consideration of his complaints.
Ultimately, when confronted with anger, we risk driving away those fragments of our lives which are most important to us – cutting ourselves off from family, friends and partners.
As Seneca put it so eloquently in the first century: when our rage takes over, it ends up costing us much more than what originally triggered our fury.
Therefore, managing one’s emotions is essential for life satisfaction.
It’s impossible to guarantee that you’ll never experience feelings of anger again, but by taking effective steps to control them you may be able to avoid negative outcomes and avert destruction before it happens – enabling you to keep your bridges intact.
How To Keep Your Cool In Conflictual Situations: Advice From The Stoics
When faced with an angry outburst, the best way to control it is by waiting for the moment to pass and analyzing what triggered it.
By resisting the urge to jump into arguments with guns blazing, you’ll have a chance to think about what you’re going to say.
Plus, letting your counterpart finish their point can help you to understand it and even give you insight in to their point of view.
It’s also important to understand the cause of that anger.
More often than not, fear is at its core – either fear of rejection or fear of being overwhelmed.
If these emotions ring true for you, recognizing what lies beneath that initial anger helps to keep it from dominating your reactions.
So next time when it feels like your temper is spiking, take a step back and wait for those feelings to dissipate before responding.
Trying to figure out where that anger is coming from will benefit you in so many ways!
Taking Control Of Your Mind: Stoicism And The Power Of Mute Buttons
Curiosity can be a dangerous thing.
It might lead to conflict if it leads you into places where you are not wanted.
Ancient philosophers offered wise advice that seeking out gossip and prying into the lives of others will never bring peace but only strife.
Fortunately, in our modern age, it is possible to maintain your peace of mind by simply curbing your curiosity about certain situations, people and events outside of your control.
Social media platforms have made us more exposed to different opinions but this can lead to unnecessary conflict.
The Stoics’ answer? Simply accept that things are not in our direct control and if unsure – hit the mute button!
By controlling what we put our attention on, we may reduce unnecessary worry and free up some valuable mental space while concentrating on what we can truly control – ourselves.
Wrap Up
The Happy Book by Dan Harris provides powerful insight into understanding happiness and how to take control of it.
It encourages readers to appreciate what they already have and learn how to differentiate between what they can and can’t change.
The actionable advice provided promotes cultivating a Stoic attitude by starting off the day with Stoic meditation.
This helps pay attention to anger triggers, as well as put into perspective the things we don’t have control over like other peoples’ behaviors or the amount of cars on the road.
Through this final summary readers should be able to understand that one small step can lead to a much bigger jump in their own personal journey for happiness.
