Getting Past Your Breakup Book Summary By Susan J. Elliott

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Getting Past Your Breakup (2009) is a must-read for anyone who has recently gone through the heartbreak of an ended relationship.

The book provides practical advice on how to cope with this difficult and emotional situation, while prioritizing self-care and generating happiness within yourself.

Whether you decide to stay single, move on with someone else, or remain in your current relationship, this book gives valuable insight into dealing with all aspects of the breakup process.

It encourages readers to move forward in life without allowing the pain of their breakup to drag them down – ultimately allowing them to thrive beyond a failed romantic connection.

Getting Past Your Breakup Book

Book Name: Getting Past Your Breakup (How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You)

Author(s): Susan J. Elliott

Rating: 4.4/5

Reading Time: 16 Minutes

Categories: Psychology

Author Bio

Susan J.

Elliott is an amazing New York-based attorney and grief counselor whose work has reached millions of people.

She holds seminars on this subject matter and runs an extremely popular blog called Getting Past Your Past, making her an expert in the field.

Her expertise on getting past breakups has helped many people throughout the years, and her advice is backed up with experience and knowledge.

With her guidance, people are able to move on and heal from their breakups in a healthy way.

How To Move On After A Breakup: Why You Should Put Down The Phone, Address Unresolved Feelings, And Set Boundaries

Unresolved Feelings

Breakups are always difficult, and can leaveyou feeling like you’ve been hit almost as hard as a bus.

You suddenly find a big hole in your life where there was once laughter and love.

But the good news is that breakups often lead to positive change, if you handle them the right way.

One such way to face the situation positively is by getting a grip and getting ready to grow.

That means taking a step back first, putting down the phone and not contacting your ex for a while – because it’s important to take some time apart before attempting friendship if it is ever even possible.

Furthermore, setting boundaries between yourself and your ex-partner can provide room to explore new horizons and possibly move on with your life in exciting directions.

So don’t get discouraged in these moments of challenge – instead focus on these opportunities for growth!

How Breakups Can Lead To Personal Growth: A Guide To Self-Care And Healthy Mourning

When it comes to getting past a breakup, it’s important to make sure you take care of yourself and properly grieve.

This means being self-loving and boosting your own self-esteem by doing things like getting a new haircut or taking on a new hobby.

It also means that you should not block out your emotions by engaging in activities like drugs or rebound relationships – instead, feel your feelings so that you can truly heal.

You’ll also need to recognize the importance of moving on from the relationship.

Once you’ve put an end to that portion of your life, you can begin the process of proper mourning and reflection.

This will allow you to gain insight into what went wrong before and give yourself the chance to become a stronger person who trusts in their ability to conquer pain.

By making sure that you take care of yourself and still fulfill your need for validating emotions, you can begin your journey of post-breakup development with confidence!

The Key To Moving On After A Breakup: Stop Communicating With Your Ex

If you want to be able to successfully move on from your breakup, it’s essential that you cut off all contact with your ex and don’t make excuses to communicate.

That means completely severing ties – meaning no messages, no calls, no texting, no checking their Instagram page…you get the idea.

This may be difficult at first as you’re used to having them in your life but trust me, it’s worth it in the end.

The author had a client who admitted she couldn’t breathe without her partner.

But guess what? After just 48 hours of having no contact with him whatsoever, she could already feel the effects of being free from his grasp and felt like she could actually breathe easier!

It goes to show that time apart can have a revolutionary effect on how we perceive the world.

Social media makes this concept even harder than ever before.

It’s vitally important that you commit to not contacting your ex by any means, not even “lurking” on their social media pages (which can easily lead you back down into a miserable state).

Once you’ve cut contact with your ex-lover then you can start on the journey to accept that the relationship is over and begin going through the necessary steps of mourning what was lost.

So if both parties put in as much effort as they could while they were together but still found themselves falling short, then cutting ties and leaving each other alone may be the best thing for both of them right now!

Learning To Manage Stress After A Breakup Through The Grieving Process

Grieving Process

When it comes to getting past a breakup, the first and often hardest step is dealing with the shock of losing your relationship.

It can come as a surprise and leave you feeling lost and alone without anyone to turn to.

The sudden loss of someone’s love, protection, and companionship will take time to come to terms with.

It’s normal to have feelings of shock and disbelief when you realize that the person you were invested in isn’t there anymore and all your plans for the future may not come true.

The feelings of security, trust, and safety you once enjoyed together suddenly disappear, leaving behind only sadness in its stead.

The grieving process isn’t easy either – besides being abandoned, loneliness may set in if you lose mutual friends or even family members associated with your ex-partner.

All sorts of complex emotions like regret, anger, confusion will hit you in waves -it feels almost like having the cold where dizziness reigns supreme from the lack of clarity on how things ended up going wrong.

Remember that these thoughts are natural and healthy but learning how far is too far when it comes to rumination is paramount, as well as taking care of yourself through nurturing activities such as eating well or talking with supportive friends who understand what you’re going through.

Grieving After A Breakup: How To Move On And Celebrate Your Freedom

As you grieve the breakup of your relationship, it’s important to take care of yourself.

To help you do that, employ a few simple methods.

Start a journal and write down your feelings – this will help you identify when negative thoughts come up and then counter them with positive affirmations.

For example, if you catch yourself thinking that you’re undatable, replace it with something like “I’m a supportive partner with a great deal to offer.” Another suggestion is to schedule date nights with yourself, where you do all the things that bring joy and relaxation into your life, like reading a book or taking a nice bubble bath.

When going through the healing process of a breakup, it’s also important to consider those around you who may be effected.

Whether it’s children or mutual friends from the relationship, be sure to take their feelings into consideration as well while on your own journey of self-empowerment.

Helping Your Kids Cope Through Divorce: How To Create A Supportive Environment During A Difficult Time

To help your family cope with the breakup, it’s important to stay organized and talk to your children.

Begin by asking your kids how they are feeling and taking their emotions into account.

Be aware that they may need time to grieve.

Explain to them that even though you and your partner no longer love each other, you both still love them unconditionally.

Avoid giving too much detail when answering their questions; simply explain that you weren’t happy together and didn’t want to fight anymore.

Organization is key in preparing for this new life without your ex-partner.

Spend time with your children doing activities together as a family, but also plan some special moments just for the two of you.

If they’re involved in making these arrangements, it will provide them with a sense of security and stability during a difficult transition.

Reward good behavior if it helps establish this new order in a positive way.

Eventually, you’ll get back to focusing on yourself – but first, make sure that your family can handle this difficult situation.

Uncover The Sources Of Unhealthy Patterns With A Relationship And Life Inventory

Unhealthy Patterns

Making relationship inventories is the key to discovering unhealthy patterns in your relationships.

With Natures Nutrition‘s “Getting Past Your Breakup” book, you will learn how to start making these relationship inventories.

Start by writing down the positive and negative aspects of your relationship with your ex-partner.

Take time to reflect on the traits that initially attracted you to your partner, but eventually became detrimental.

Are there any warning signs that surfaced at the beginning of your relationship that could have been a red-flag for future trouble?

Documenting all of the elements of the relationship which hurt you most as well as any wrongdoings from both parties is essential in order to recognize themes in your relationship.

Try to identify if there was a pattern such as if your partner was distant while you were needy or if there were moments where you were interrupted frequently.

In addition, make a life inventory which features all of your major romantic relationships so that it may be easier for you to pinpoint the origin of these destructive patterns.

Include all close relationships so that anything similar may stand out more prominently – such as potentially having had a mother who criticized you or something similar in a former relationship.

Once these patterns are identified and comprehended, it will be easier to take control and move past them – setting yourself up to have healthier relationships in the future!

Setting Boundaries: How To Stand Up For Yourself And Retain Your Independence

It’s important to identify the situations in which you often struggle to set boundaries and learn how to stand your ground.

In past relationships, this may have been more difficult than it should have been.

For example, if you and your partner didn’t necessarily agree on something, were you less likely to say no or disagree? It’s easy to get caught up in allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat.

In the current relationships of your life, take the time to understand when and with whom are you not being successful in making sure that your own interests are heard.

Say for example that a friend wants you to go shopping with her every Saturday and it’s something that isn’t enjoyable for you or meeting your own needs; this is the prime opportunity for you to respectfully say no without feeling guilty or making excuses.

By setting clear expectations within each relationship–and remembering that new boundaries will only be accepted if there are consequences for not meting them–you will know how assertive you can ultimately be with expressing what will and won’t be tolerated.

You don’t have to accept someone being constantly late if they’ve already gone against respecting prior requests–situations like this call for a tangible action like leaving without them even if they may later try make amends (thus finally teaching them an impactful lesson).

This section has hopefully taught you how important it is stay true to yourself and retain independence, especially when entering into a new relationship.

Learn To Indulge In Self-Care And Truly Get To Know Yourself After A Breakup For Real Relationship Fulfillment

Real Relationship

It’s important to accept that a breakup will take time and it’s OK to feel lonely.

But if you’re dependent on someone else for your own identity, then you’re likely to settle for less – and this can be damaging.

The best way forward is to embrace the loneliness, which gives you the freedom to choose who you want as your next partner.

When it comes to finding love again, don’t forget to keep some of that independence.

Be sure to continue spending time alone and engaging in the activities you found while single.

Even when you’ve entered into a new relationship, remember that sometimes having space is good for both of you.

And lastly, learn how to practice self-care so that whatever happens after your breakup, you’ll have grown as an individual.

In conclusion, learning how to become independent and not sacrificing your passions if you do find love again is key after a breakup.

Wrap Up

Getting Past Your Breakup, as the title implies, is all about how to move on from a breakup and start fresh.

The key takeaway of this book is how beneficial going through a breakup can be in the long run.

Instead of bottling up the feelings or engaging in self-destructive behavior, use the opportunity of a breakup to take a good hard look at yourself and learn to be happy with yourself before embarking on any new relationship.

Actionable advice that you can put into practice is to find a hobby that you’re interested in, such as knitting and woodworking.

This will help preoccupy your mind and distract you from the pain that comes with breakups.

All in all, Getting Past Your Breakup helps readers get back on their feet by understanding the importance of taking time for themselves after a relationship ends.

Arturo Miller

Hi, I am Arturo Miller, the Chief Editor of this blog. I'm a passionate reader, learner and blogger. Motivated by the desire to help others reach their fullest potential, I draw from my own experiences and insights to curate blogs.

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