Key Messages
Become A Great Negotiator: How To Master The Art Of Persuasion
If you want to get what you want in life, then learning the art of negotiating is key.
You don’t have to be a master negotiator, but having a few simplebut important skills can make all the difference.
In this section, you’ll learn all about the basics of negotiation and how to become an expert negotiator who always gets what they want.
We’ll look at why someone who is inexperienced in negotiation might win one battle but fail to succeed in others as well as how adhering to your own high standards allows everyone involved in a negotiation to achieve better results.
Finally, you’ll discover why understanding what the other side wants out of a negotiation often times plays just as an important role as getting what you want.
The Benefits Of Knowing How To Negotiate Effectively
It’s true: every interaction is a negotiation.
No matter what life throws at you, you need to be prepared to make the most of each negotiation in order to get what you want.
From buying trinkets at the flea market to selling a multimillion-dollar company, it pays to know how to handle negotiations.
After all, if you don’t play your cards right, you could miss out on a great deal!
There are four key strategies involved when negotiating for something – using power, getting someone to believe what you want them to believe, getting them to see things from your perspective and finally persuading someone to feel what you want them to feel.
Once you determine your goal in a negotiation, then comes the challenge of achieving it without compromising yourself or anyone else in the process.
For example, if your goal is return home as soon as possible after a knee surgery then it’s important that physical therapy is not rushed or overlooked — even if it means staying an extra day or two in hospital.
Being aware of how and when negotiations occur will help get more out of each situation and bring us closer towards our goals.
So remember: no matter who we interact with each day and whatever it is that we want–prepare ourselves by learning how best we can resolve conflicts and achieve agreements through successful negotiation.
How To Establish Connection And Trust In A Negotiation: Valuing Your Partner And Treating Them As An Individual
When it comes to successfully negotiating, it all boils down to forming a connection with the person you’re speaking with.
This is why it’s essential to demonstrate value and appreciation of the person, showing your gratitude for their time can shift the dynamics in your favor.
However, don’t be insincere or fake.
People can usually figure out when you’re just putting on an act.
In situations where trust may be hard to build between yourself and the other party, look for ways that will allow them to commit naturally.
To help foster connection even if there may not be any good vibes right away, get a third person who trusts both parties involved in the conversation.
Every negotiation is different and context-dependent, so use all available tools appropriate to the situation.
Even simple expressions like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ make a bigger difference than expected.
It’s important to remember that no two people are alike so stereotypes must be thrown out of the window; each person should be valued as an individual with unique preferences and needs.
To sum up: establishing an honest and trusting connection with people is key for successful negotiations regardless of who they are!
Understanding Differences And Adapting To Negotiation Tactics Lead To Successful Outcomes
When it comes to negotiations, it pays to be aware of your partner’s perceptions.
Despite the fact that everyone may have similar views on any given topic, it’s important to remember that each person holds his or her own unique view.
Just like the well-known query: is the glass half full or half empty? It is ultimately up to the individual looking at the glass.
Therefore, when negotiating with someone, make sure you use good communication in order to gain an understanding of one another’s views and find common ground.
Ask questions and actively listen with an open mind.
Never assume that you know your partner’s perspective – always ask questions and make sure you hear them out before making conclusions.
Make sure that as the conversation progresses, you signal affirmatively; utilize summarization techniques by frequently summarizing what both parties are saying, so that everyone has a mutual understanding about the agreement in question.
Try to remain calm if the other person gets angry; do not get angry in return but rather take the opportunity to ask why they are feeling this way and identify how you might have miscommunicated something or helped contribute to their heightened emotions.
Be conscious of all subtle signals being exchanged during conversation – never assume anything without taking time to comprehend every message being sent over.
Practice stepping into your partner’s shoes whenever possible – doing so will allow you to better understand their position and avoid getting caught up in assumptions thought out over yours own perspectives only!
Using Standards And Shame To Reach A Negotiating Goal
Using the other person’s standards as part of negotiations can be an effective way to make progress toward your goal.
This is especially useful when you are dealing with someone who is driving a hard bargain.
By bringing up the standards that person is upholding and holding them accountable for not living up to them, you can strengthen your own negotiating position.
For example, if you are staying in a luxury hotel and find the bathroom is particularly dirty with hair in the shower drain, remind the staff member that this kind of service isn’t expected from a hotel like theirs – which presumably upholds very high standards for accommodation and hygiene.
This approach can often prove effective even when delivered politely and in front of others.
It’s also important to lead the person towards your desired outcome step by step rather than simply present it as an ultimatum.
Present their standards first, then ask about their policies on those standards, before finally making your request gently but clearly.
In this way, you can help people come to their own conclusions and make it easier for them to do what you need them to do.
Discovering What Others Value To Strengthen Your Negotiation Power
Negotiating can be a tricky process and having an edge can make all the difference.
A key factor in figuring out what will give you that edge is understanding what your counterpart values.
This is something we’ve been doing since early societies used barter systems to exchange goods and services.
By understanding what someone values, it’s easier to come up with creative exchanges between them and you.
This goes beyond the traditional monetary system, too — think of the art auction example, where two people might be willing to pay two different prices for the same painting based on how that person values it.
Using this knowledge to your advantage in negotiations can give you a real edge over your competitors.
Taking a job interview as an example, if you can find out what they’re currently working on and use this information as part of your interview by offering help on their floundering initiative, then your value as a potential employee has shifted significantly higher.
Rather than just relying on skills alone, getting to know someone better and researching what they value means you can offer an exchange that will create further value in their eyes.
To gain an edge in negotiations then, figure out what your partner values and set up an exchange so both parties get something of value from the deal.
Acknowledge Emotional Needs To Find Success In Negotiations
Negotiations can easily be derailed by emotions, so don’t ignore them.
This is something the author has seen firsthand in a divorce case.
The husband, who was frustrated with the process, tried to offer his wife nearly all his current assets just to get it over with – but the wife’s emotions were overwhelming her and she wouldn’t even sit down at the negotiating table.
To deal with emotions in negotiations, you need to acknowledge people’s feelings and provide emotional relief.
The author did this in the divorce case when they explained how offering all of the husband’s assets would hurt him too.
Acknowledging her feelings allowed her to come to an agreement that provided her with emotional relief.
It is important to be sincere when acknowledging someone’s feelings as it could ruin a long term relationship if they realize you aren’t actually being genuine.
While feigning an emotional connection may work once or twice, it won’t lead to lasting successful negotiations.
Get Ready For Negotiations With The Getting More Model: Outline Your Goals, Consider Techniques And Potential Outcomes, Focus On Specific Actions And Agree On Terms And Conditions
If you want to be as prepared as possible for your next negotiation, it’s important to plan and practice strategies.
The Getting More model is a great way to do this, as it helps give structure to your negotiations.
The first step involves outlining the basics of the negotiation.
You should identify your goals and the problems that are preventing you from achieving them, as well as list all the participants in the negotiation and any third parties you could use for reference.
For example, if you’re looking for a reporting position at the New York Times, make sure you know what skills or experience may be lacking and who will be reading job applications.
Next, consider which negotiation techniques are needed – including the needs and interests of both parties.
Put yourself in the other negotiator’s shoes by understanding their personal standards and viewing their position.
Brainstorm ideas on what you’ll say or do in certain scenarios, too.
Thirdly, focus on particular actions that will lead you towards your goal.
Decide how to present your proposal and to whom; think about dividing it into smaller steps so it’s easier for them to comprehend.
Lastly, decide how a commitment should look like from the other side, and what should be done after presenting your proposal.
By going through these steps before each negotiation encounter, you can prepare yourself with well-planned strategies that have been thoughtfully practiced!
Wrap Up
The book’s key message is the importance of being prepared, communicating effectively, and understanding the standards and values of your negotiating partner in order to get the best out of each negotiation.
To achieve this, one actionable piece of advice is to make sure emails are as close to a real interaction as possible by stating upfront how you’d like the person to understand it, and allowing time for responses if needed.
If done correctly, ensuring proper communication and understanding during negotiations can lead to successful outcomes in any situation.
