Key Messages
The Power Of Positive Feedback: Harness Your Strengths To Become The Best Version Of Yourself
Are you looking for a way to become the best version of yourself? It all starts with understanding our strengths and focusing on them instead of weaknesses.
This is exactly what these sections explain – how to build a personal highlight reel of your life, giving compliments (even if it feels awkward!), and even inventing your own job title can help empower you.
Ultimately, the goal is to discover how to become the best you.
To do this, you’ll learn why positive feedback is far more beneficial than self-criticism, understand why you should get to hear your eulogy before you’re dead and use this knowledge to propel yourself further in life.
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Focus On Your Strengths And Create Your Own Personal Highlight Reel To Unlock Your Full Potential
When it comes to being your best, it’s important to focus on your strengths.
Most of us are too focused on our flaws, which just chips away at our confidence and self-esteem.
Instead, we should be celebrating and building upon what we do well.
Research has shown how powerful it can be to hone in on your strengths rather than dwelling on weaknesses.
For example, in one study from the University of Auckland a group of students with physical disabilities had their ability to perform assembly tasks tracked over a one-month period – when half of them watched an edited video of themselves excelling they became 15 percent more productive than the other group!
It’s clear that positive reinforcement about our capabilities goes a long way in terms of inspiring us to keep up the good work – and even do better.
Unfortunately, it’s not always practical for us to record video of all our best moments, so this sections will help you find ways to create a mental highlight reel without a camera!
The Power Of A Near-Death Experience: Breaking Through Hidden Barriers To Self-Discovery
Social norms can have an insidious effect on us, and this can often prevent us from discovering our true strengths.
This is a message that Dave Maher discovered in an unusual way.
After he fell into a coma due to kidney failure, his family was close to taking him off life support – but they never did and he miraculously awoke.
When he read the touching last messages others had posted about him online, Dave was moved to tears.
He realized that his friends saw qualities in him that he didn’t know were there.
He’d always thought of himself as a selfish person, but here were people telling him how much he meant to them – how kind he was, generous with his time, and loyal beyond measure.
This dramatizes the two powerful social forces that can keep us from recognizing our gifts: eulogy delay and transience aversion.
The former refers to our reluctance to express pride in others’ achievements while they’re still alive; we don’t want to flatter someone’s ego!
And the latter implies our refusal or inability to accept the transient nature of life itself; we don’t want to acknowledge that time is fleeting and finite.
Harness The Power Of Positive Trauma And Create Your Personal Highlight Reel
Positive trauma can be hugely transformative when it comes to improving your life.
In fact, up to 83 percent of people who have experienced trauma claim that it has changed their life for the better.
That’s because trauma helps us realise how valuable and precious life is, leading us to focus on and devote time and energy to the people close to us and the things that are important in our lives.
And while we usually associate trauma with tragedy, it doesn’t always have to be a negative experience.
It turns out that positive experiences can also lead us through a period of powerful emotion which sometimes leads to a dramatic change in perspective.
Think of situations such as falling in love, having children or buying your first home – all incredibly positive moments that can bring about an intense feeling which stays with you long beyond the moment itself.
You too can encapsulate this power of positive trauma by creating yourself a highlight reel.
Why not get your closest friends and family members to write down their most fond memories of you – times where you were being authentic and true to yourself – as a way of showing your appreciation for them? You can then read these letters whenever you’re feeling low or need a bit of an emotional boost.
Your Highlight Reel Will Help You Discover Your Strengths
Your highlight reel is the perfect tool to help you uncover your unique strengths.
It doesn’t require you to ask friends and family to tell you how great you are, but rather clues them in on concrete moments when they felt that you were showing your true self.
For example, one woman’s husband drove 16 hours through a snowstorm to pick up her stranded parents—that speaks volumes about his strength and commitment!
Asking for stories like these will give you insight into your character that can be overlooked otherwise.
Once letters start coming in, resist the urge to read them right away and make sure to accumulate a good number of narratives before setting aside quieter time to read through them all.
This will allow maximum absorption of the positive feedback and also show commonalities among people’s perception of your skills.
When they’re all read, take a look at key words and phrases used by each person to describe you and compare them with the eulogy you wrote yourself.
Leverage Visualization To Make Your Strengths Automatic Habits And Achieve Success
Visualization is a powerful tool to help you make your signature strengths part of your daily life.
In a study conducted by UCLA, students were asked to visualize themselves studying for their midterms in order to get good grades.
This group performed better on the actual test than the group that only visualized getting good grades, or the group that did not do any visualization exercises at all.
This demonstrates that visualization can be effective at helping us form habits related to our strengths and reach our potential.
When you focus on how you’ll reach a goal, rather than simply visualizing reaching it, it encourages you to take action and commit more effort towards achieving it.
Writing exercises are another helpful tool for such visualization.
If done regularly, they can help bring clarity and focus as we strive to make our signature strengths part of our everyday lives.
What’s more, over time these new habits can become automatic, reaping all the rewards of using your signature strengths in order to live a happier and more fulfilled life!
Craft Your Work To Reflect Your Strengths And Reap The Rewards
Everyone wants to do their best at work and achieve professional success, but for many of us it can be hard to break out of the same routine.
That’s why it’s important to design your job in a way that brings out the best in you.
One key ingredient is visualization – it can motivate change and help you imagine what your job should look like when it reflects your unique strengths.
To this end, take some time to brainstorm creative ways in which you can incorporate your skill set into your work tasks.
This could involve anything from reframing mundane duties that don’t usually activate your strengths to taking on activities that you think will bring out the best in you each week.
For example, if you’re great with people think about how you could use that skill more effectively in everyday conversations with customers or colleagues.
Or if math is one of your strong points, find ways to integrate calculations into your daily responsibilities more often.
Lastly, don’t forget to keep track of these changes – create a “diary” of sorts and consider giving yourself an unofficial job title such as “The Connector” or “The Problem Solver.”
Stop Making Excuses And Start Living Your Life On Your Own Terms: A Guide To Making The Most Of Your Unique Strengths
If you want to get the most out of life, it’s essential to design your day-to-day to incorporate your unique strengths.
This means carving out time in your hectic schedule and making space for activities that will help you use and develop your skills.
For example, if you’re naturally outgoing, why not try a dance class? Or if you’re good with animals, why not do some volunteer work at a local shelter? This can be accomplished by doing small writing exercises or journaling each week.
Choose one of your strengths and brainstorm ten new activities that can activate that specific strength.
Once you choose an activity that appeals to you, give it a try and track your journey in a diary.
The key is to be aware of what skills and strengths you have and consciously find ways to tap into them during every interaction.
To further strengthen awareness of these abilities, the author suggests the doorway exercise: Every time you walk through a door, touch the doorframe and ask yourself “Who am I as I enter this room?” Then go in and bring the best version of yourself into play.
Finally, don’t forget about revisiting your highlight reel from time to time – the stories written by friends, family, and colleagues about who you are at your best.
These are great reminders when life gets tough!
Wrap Up
The final summary of this book can be summarized in one key takeaway: to create your biggest impact, you should focus on what you do best.
Use a personal highlight reel to capture the unique strengths that make you special.
Take advantage of those strengths and design your life and work around them.
To finish things off, we’ve got one final suggestion: take some time to write yourself a letter from the future.
Picture what your life would be like if you achieved everything you desired – personally, professionally and socially.
What does it look like day-to-day? How’s your mental state? Keep this letter accessible so you remember who the best version of yourself is whenever you need a boost of motivation!
