Key Messages
Learn How To Deal With Stress And Empower Yourself With The Latest Scientific Data From The Nagoski Sisters
In today’s world, women are expected to meet unrealistic ideals set by society and carry the additional burden of stress on their shoulders.
But Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of the book Burnout, have set out to provide an illuminating solution: they present us with the latest scientific research showing us how we can tackle the everyday stress that comes our way.
From recognizing your own inner madwoman and learning to trust your body mass index, to discovering scientifically proven methods for dealing with stress and unrealistically high expectations from society — all these steps help empower women to become stronger and more resilient against burnout.
Whether it be meditation or yoga or any other form of relaxation — understanding the science behind stress can be an invaluable tool in fighting against fatigue, irritability and other physical ailments related to burnout.
How To Avoid Emotional Exhaustion And Burnout
If you’ve ever felt completely and utterly exhausted without being able to meet your own demands and expectations, you know the feeling of burnout.
It happens when emotions get stuck–when no matter how much we care, we don’t seem to be getting anywhere, or necessarily feeling relief from our exhaustion.
Emotional exhaustion is one of the three components identified by psychologist Herbert Freudenberger in 1975 in his clinical definition of burnout.
A good analogy is an emotional tunnel: it starts, then you’re in the middle of it, and then it ends, but if you experience the same emotion all day and every day there is no satisfying end.
That’s why those who work in occupations that involve caring for others such as teaching and medical professions can easily slip into burnout–the risks are high (20-30% for teachers and 52% for medical personnel).
As a result, parental burnout has become increasingly common as well.
To combat this issue, though, some real strategies must be adopted; bath bombs alone won’t do it!
Scientifically sound strategies need to be put into place so that people don’t get stuck in their emotions, allowing them to stay healthy even when their job involves a lot of tending.
Close The Stress Cycle To Keep Your Body And Mind Healthy
It is clear that stress can take a huge toll on our physical health, so it is essential that we take steps to close out the stress cycle.
When we feel stressed or overwhelmed, our bodies respond by releasing hormones like epinephrine which cause an increase in blood pressure and heart rate, muscle tension and quickened breathing.
These biological responses were designed to help us run away from danger, but they are not healthy when they become chronic.
High blood pressures leads to a risk of heart disease and other illnesses, while compromised immunity and digestion make it hard for our bodies to heal.
The good news is that there are many ways to close the stress cycle.
Exercise or engaging in activities such as painting or music can be incredibly helpful – by expending excess energy we can relieve the emotional effects of stress.
Additionally, positive social interactions with human beings or animals can have similarly soothing effects.
It’s important to remember that moments of love and laughter are part of the happy ending – so seek out those moments whenever possible!
Understanding Stressors, Applying Positive Reappraisal, And Using Planful Problem-Solving To Combat Stress
Working out an effective strategy against stress requires a good understanding of what can and cannot be controlled.
In situations like being a middle school teacher, for example, there are certain daily stressors that you can’t avoid.
But you can manage them through techniques such as positive reappraisal and planful problem-solving.
Positive reappraisal is all about reframing a difficult situation to look for positive opportunities.
It requires fact and truth analysis rather than “looking on the bright side” delusion.
With planful problem-solving, you get to analyze the frustrating situation ahead of time in order to come up with ways to reduce your frustration or effectively solve the issue.
An example of this could be getting stuck in traffic and using a GPS system to plan alternate routes.
Whenever you find yourself stuck in a frustrating situation, keep in mind that the Monitor mechanism inside your brain always assesses the effort it’s going to take along with progress being made – whether it’s controllable or not.
So, don’t shy away from difficult challenges as they often provide more personal growth than easy tasks!
Managing Expectations Is The Key To Frustration Management And Seeing Through The Rigged Game Of Life
Women have long been told that they’re not being discriminated against, and if they’re feeling frustrated, all they need to do is drink some green smoothies and finish a coloring book and everything will be okay.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t address the root of the problem.
The fact is, the game is rigged and we’re all still living in a patriarchy.
Knowing this can be more helpful than trying to fix it with something like a bath bomb or green smoothie.
In one study done with participants given an impossible task, when they were informed that the test was actually rigged, their negative emotions immediately vanished – showing just how impactful simply understanding an issue can be.
The authors also referred to something known as the Bikini Industrial Complex (BIC) which creates unrealistic expectations for women based on body size.
BMI measurements are flawed by their very nature since those who created them worked for weight-loss clinics that wanted customers to keep buying their services – giving us yet another reason why seeking facts instead of subscribing to pressuring trends can help you cope better with current societal standards.
Finding Your Meaning: How To Overcome Human Giver Syndrome And Pursue Your Own Journey
In Burnout, the authors discuss the importance of aligning yourself with something larger and meaningful in order to build your resilience to stressful situations.
If you’re going through difficult times, having a clear purpose or mission can help keep you going.
Knowing what you want and aiming for something bigger than yourself can go a long way towards giving you the motivation and drive to power through even the toughest days.
However, the authors also caution against falling into what they refer to as “Human Giver Syndrome”.
This is when people are expected to devote their time, attention and bodies to others’ needs while sacrificing their own.
Women in particular are often raised to think that they should only be devoted to looking after others rather than finding meaning in their own lives.
In fact, Joseph Campbell famously wrote that women were more of a place rather than a person – a destination for men rather than an agent on her own journey.
It’s important not to believe these ideas of Human Giver Syndrome and instead strive towards understanding your own sense of purpose and meaning.
Finding that clarity will improve your ability to cope with stress and lead to a more satisfying life overall.
The Power Of Connection: Relationship Quality Can Have A Lasting Impact On Your Health And Happiness
Whether we like it or not, needing people is a fact of life and not something to feel ashamed of.
In order to function at our best, we need some sort of connection to others– whether it be emotional support, medical support, or just getting information and education.
It’s important to note that both the quantity and quality of our relationships are crucial for physical and mental health; studies have shown that couples in higher quality relationships had better physical and mental health outcomes than those in lower quality relationships.
What’s more, the quality of a relationship can actually be an even better predictor of overall health than other factors such as whether someone smokes or not.
Having connections isn’t just beneficial for well-being though; it can also help us find love and compassion within ourselves.
For instance, when one friend fell in love with an older man who had kids from previous marriages, she found that by seeing herself through his eyes she was able to gain new perspectives on herself which ultimately helped her develop newfound self-love.
Though we may sometimes believe that needing people is a sign of weakness, this is actually false– having connections makes us stronger and healthier overall, both physically and mentally.
On top of that, others can even help us find ways to love ourselves if we take the time to truly appreciate these special connections in our lives.
Take Breaks And Get Enough Sleep To Unlock Your True Potential
Rest and sleep are essential for health, productivity and avoiding burnout.
A popular saying says “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but this isn’t necessarily true – pushing yourself too hard can be dangerous and won’t lead to good results.
In fact, science shows us that the best way to become stronger is by taking the time to rest and sleep.
When we take a break between tasks and go for naps or do some other mindless task like folding laundry, it enables us to do quality work as our brains are given a chance to rest and function more efficiently.
This is because while resting, our brains can access the default mode network which allows feedback on current tasks and problems as well as brainstorming new solutions and ideas.
Sleep also plays an important role in achieving physical or mental goals.
By sleeping we allow our bodies to repair themselves from any physical exercise done during the day through bone, muscle and blood vessel repairs.
Sleep also helps store information properly in memory since this is the time when all new learnt information is consolidated.
Therefore if you want to stay healthy, achieve great results with your job or avoid burnout then make sure you get enough rest and sleep regularly!
Learning To Take Control Of Our Inner Critic To Find Joy And Strength
In Amy Poehler’s memoir Yes Please, she speaks of something many of us know all too well – the nagging inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough and don’t deserve love.
Author Brené Brown call this our “madwoman”, as it often appears in times when we feel like we’ve failed to be the perfect woman.
The good news is that this madwoman can be controlled and even befriended.
A good way to take control is to create a vivid image of your madwoman and name her, so that you can start to separate yourself from it and no longer be held hostage by her admonishments.
From there, practicing self-compassion is an essential step towards strength.
It may be difficult to come face-to-face with the pain and vulnerability that comes with healing ourselves; but if you take this step, you’ll find that it has made you stronger than ever before.
When we break free from negativity and practice self-compassion instead, then joy becomes possible – however fleeting momentary happiness may be.
Armed with strength born of self-compassion, we can work towards lasting joy!
Wrap Up
Burnout is a real and serious problem for many women today, but it can be managed with the right tools and attitude.
The key takeaways are that we need to recognize the unbalanced society we live in, be kind to ourselves, and prioritize self-care through exercise, creativity and affection.
Additionally, we should strive to erase our internalized critiques and pursue our own dreams.
And if exercising is out of the question or simply not your jam, then trying stationary stress relievers like deep breathing exercises or muscle tensing can provide a way for us to close out the stress cycle.
Taking these steps will help us defeat the patriarchy so that we can become our most amazing selves!
