Key Messages
Lessons From The French Style Of Parenting: How To Raise Better Behaved And Independent Children
Do you want to improve your parenting skills? Then why not learn from the French!
Through decades of trial and error, the French have perfected their parenting style, and the results are clear.
French children are well behaved, independent, and unfazed by their parents’ no’s.
So what is their secret?
Bringing Up Bébé provides an inside look at how the French raise their children to succeed.
In this book summary, you’ll discover why there aren’t any kids’ menus in France and how gender differences should be embraced—all while learning marshmallow-related lessons that will help your child become more independent.
No matter where you live, embracing these principles can help you raise your children just as effectively as the French do: setting boundaries, encouraging independence, and yes – even incorporating marshmallows into your parenting plan.
With Bringing Up Bébé as your guide, you can adopt a few simple rules that will improve both your parenting skills and carve out more time for yourself too.
How To Teach Your Baby To Sleep Through The Night: Patience And Understanding Are Key
Babies are capable of sleeping through the night, provided they can soothe themselves back to sleep.
That’s the bottom line according to French parenting experts Teresa Pinella and Leann Birch who published their findings in Pediatrics back in 1993.
Pinella and Birch suggested three rules for parents: don’t rock baby to sleep; feed them only if all else fails; and learn to differentiate between whimpering and real crying.
Following their instructions, 38% babies could sleep through the night after just four weeks, compared to a mere 7% without these instructions.
The key is not intervening straight away when your babies cry but giving them a chance to fall asleep on their own.
As parents, it’s our responsibility to let babies learn how to put themselves back to sleep autonomously, albeit with patience while steadily increasing the time intervals between responding.
How The French Train Children To Appreciate Food: The Power Ofthree-Course Meals
The French have figured out the trick to getting their children to eat healthier food: developing their palates.
Rather than just offering them a limited selection of items, like the typical American kids’ menu of hamburgers, chicken fingers and pizza – French restaurants don’t tend to have such menus.
Instead, children are exposed to a wide range of textures and flavors, from seafood and Italian dishes to homemade meals with fresh vegetables prepared in different ways such as steamed, pureed, creamed or baked.
It’s also important for parents to ensure that their child takes at least one bite of everything on her plate so they can eventually develop a taste for it.
By introducing kids to three-course meals which often include appetizers such as vegetable soup or salad before the main course is embarked upon, parents can educate their children about nutrition.
Healthy eating habits don’t have to be unappealing or dull; they simply require some effort on part of the parent in guiding the child and adapting consistently with food trials.
With regular exposure and practice, children can learn how delightfully delicious it is eating healthy food too!
The Benefits Of Strict Meal Times:From Reduced Obesity To Increased Self-Control
The book Bringing Up Bébé emphasizes the importance of adhering to strict mealtimes when it comes to children’s health and self-discipline.
By enforcing fixed eating times, kids are taught how to properly manage calorie intake and engage in healthy eating habits which ultimately reduce their risk of obesity and encourage proper nutrition.
French children typically eat four meals per day: breakfast at 8 a.m., lunch around midday, an afternoon snack at 4 p.m., and dinner at 8 p.m., with no snacking between meals being allowed.
Not only do strict mealtimes aid in healthy weight management, they also promote delayed gratification, fortitude, and less frequent tantrums as kids learn that requests for treats won’t be met without waiting until their next designated mealtime.
This was exemplified through Walter Mischel’s famous marshmallow experiment where children were given one marshmallow, but could earn two if they resisted the temptation to eat it for 15 minutes – only those who had been able to exercise this self-control went on to have more successful lives when interviewed several years later..
It is clear that teaching a child discipline from an early age has far reaching benefits both now and in the future — something Taking Up Bébé certainly highlights as an essential aspect of parenting.
The French Way Of Parenting: Taking Time For Yourself And Letting Go Of Guilt
Having children does not mean you have to abandon your own needs.
This is something that the French recognize and value more than us Americans do.
In France, it’s considered unhealthy to put your own needs on hold in favor of those of your family.
Hélène de Leersnyder, a pediatrician, explains that having an active sex life is seen as a basic human need in France, not just an occasional privilege.
So don’t feel ashamed when you need some time away from your kids – send them away on school retreats or let them go to birthday parties with their friends so that you can spend some time alone and recharge.
The French couple mentioned by the author takes a ten-day holiday each year, leaving the children with their grandparents – this is perfectly natural, and should be celebrated.
It’s also fine to admit that adults occupy a different world from children – taking pride in allowing yourself to detach for a few days should be encouraged!
The Benefits Of Embracing Gender Roles In Parenting: A French Perspective
When it comes to parenting, French parents embrace the gender differences between themselves and their partners.
They don’t expect men to match them in their child-caring skills and don’t apply the same standards of perfection that American men often feel pressed to live up to.
Instead of keeping score over who does more housework, they make light of their partner’s shortcomings.
These aspects give French men a degree of relief from unrealistic expectations and lead towards less feelings of guilt or demoralization.
The author even interviewed several French women who didn’t feel any resentment over their husband’s lesser contribution with household chores.
Their focus was instead to tackle these tasks while still having capacity to enjoy life, without feeling overwhelmed by anger or hostility towards their partner.
French parents have an understanding that appreciating the unique contributions each gender brings can lead towards a more harmonious family environment — something American couples could learn from!
The Power Of French Parenting: Teaching Kids To Listen And Respect Authority
When it comes to parenting, French parents know what true authority is and how to show their children that when they say “no,” it means something.
Parents don’t hover over their children in parks, but can trust them to play by themselves.
Of course, set boundaries like not leaving the playground or hitting are necessary for good parenting.
When kids cross a serious line, parents only need to really say “no” with enough confidence and understanding that their child will follow.
French mothers understand that discipline isn’t just about being strict or smothering your child but also understanding where the serious issues end and minor problems begin.
When you get angry about a serious issue, make sure your child knows that you mean business.
Ultimately parenting is about playing a certain role and not trying to share power with your kids.
Let them have freedom with age appropriate boundaries and remember as a parent you have the final say.
Wrap Up
The final summary of Bringing Up Bébé is that children need to be given the space and freedom to explore the world around them, but it is important to set clear boundaries that will allow them to stay safe while they do so.
It’s also important to provide your kids with a variety of different foods so that they can develop an appreciation for flavors and different types of food.
As parents, your job is to help your children become independent individuals who are able to make their own decisions.
