Key Messages
Uncovering The Secrets Of Mindful Sex: How To Use Meditation For Better Sexual Experiences
We all have different experiences with sex, but one thing is certain: it’s natural to experience difficulty in the bedroom from time to time.
From problems with staying present during sex to dealing with intense pains, our issues are more common than we might think.
Luckily there is a way for us to improve our sexual health through mindfulness.
Mindfulness meditation allows us to pay attention and focus on what is taking place in the moment without passing judgment or blasting blame.
This kind of meditation helps bring closer intimacy between two people – something that is often lost over time.
On top of that, being mindful can improve sexual pain management while combatting depression and stress which may be leading factors behind poor sexual performance.
In addition, you’ll learn why the brain plays such a big role in your sex life and how beneficial mindfulness can be when it comes to modern life stressors lowering enjoyment.
So if you’re looking for ways to improve your sex life, give mindfulness a try – you’ll thank yourself!
Many Women Suffer Sexual Difficulties, But Feel Uncomfortable Seeking Help
Sexual dysfunction is a common issue experienced by women around the world.
Recent surveys have indicated this to be true in both the United States and other countries.
The 1999 National Health and Social Life survey of 3,000 American women found that 43% had some form of sexual dysfunction, while a Pfizer-sponsored Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors across 29 countries discovered low sexual desire in the majority of women regardless of geographical location.
In addition, a study conducted in Britain determined that 51% of women experienced at least one sexual complaint, and 10% reported disappointed following sex.
Consequently, it’s evident that more attention should be given to women’s struggles with sex–despite how common it is for them to remain silent about their difficulties.
Acknowledging and addressing these issues could lead to improved experiences with sex for many women.
How Our Thoughts Affect Our Sexual Experience
It’s no secret that depression and mental health can play a big role in how we experience sex.
For one, there’s a clear correlation between depression and sex drive – the more depressed someone is, the less likely they will be to have any interest in sex.
Depression can also lead to loss of interest in enjoyable activities, including sex, as studies have shown.
This could lead to a vicious cycle – depression can be both a cause and result of sexual difficulties.
Another area to consider is the way we think about sex.
Attitudes can impact our experience of it significantly.
For example, women who believe that sexual desire decreases with age are twice as likely to suffer from low libido than those who don’t hold that belief.
It’s important that we keep our mindset positive about sex – it could mean the difference between having an enjoyable experience or not.
Ultimately, there is clear evidence that depression and mental health play an important role in determining sexual difficulty – if you’re struggling with either issue it’s important to look into getting help so you can start feeling better and enjoying intimacy again!
How Mindfulness Can Help Us Have Better Sex And Beat Stress
More and more of us are becoming overwhelmed and distracted by the demands of our daily lives, so much so that it’s affecting our sex lives.
It’s difficult to really “be in the moment” when your mind is processing a multitude of things all at once.
This problem is very real, as research has shown that multitasking can actually be ineffective, and even diminish our brain’s ability to process information efficiently.
Studies also demonstrate how distractions can significantly impede sexual arousal; for instance, when men have tried listening to erotic stories while doing math problems in the same ear, their erections have become weaker with more difficult math problems.
It follows that being able to stay focused on the present is an essential part of achieving sexual satisfaction.
Thankfully, incorporating mindfulness into our practices has been found to help us maintain concentration and remain in the moment – something which could positively impact sexual pleasure.
How Mindfulness Meditation Can Help Us Enjoy Sex More: A Raisin Exercise
Mindfulness is an important practice for gaining control of your body and mind.
It’s a process of deliberately focusing your attention on the present moment, so as to become more aware of yourself, others and the world around you.
To get started with mindfulness, you can start off by consciously focusing on parts of your body or your breath.
Close your eyes, and begin to pay attention to how posture feels and how different parts of your body contact their surrounding areas.
Focusing on slowly inhaling and exhaling will help sharpen concentration.
As thoughts may come up during this exercise, treating them like passing sensations rather than delving too much into their content can help keep you engaged in the present moment.
You can also use an object to aid you in practicing mindfulness; something small like a raisin is ideal!
Pay attention to all its features – it’s colour, size and shape – as if they were entirely new observations.
Take notice of how it looks from a distance, then bring focus closer until you can see minor imperfections that may be present when looking carefully under the microscope.
This practice helps get rid of mental roadblocks allowing for fuller engagement within activities such as sex.
By understanding and mastering the process of mindfulness through various exercises such as those described above, we are better equipped to stay grounded in the here and now, setting us up for heightened sexual connection with ourselves and others.
The Idea Of Mindfully Eating A Raisin Can Teach Us To Rediscover Pleasure And Intimacy In Sex
Mindfully eating a raisin can help your sex become more alive.
That’s what Dr.
Lori Brotto uses in her mindfulness therapy groups to show participants how they can be more engaged and aware of their sensations during sex.
The exercise starts off with each participant being given a raisin, then being asked to note its form, size, and color–smell it, feel the sensation as your body reacts to different aromas.
Place it against your lips to feel the sensation and roll it around in your mouth before carefully biting down on it and pausing to savor all the flavors that are released.
Often times, women report an array of sensory experience they’re currently missing out on during sex such as intense detail of the raisins contours and colors as well as complexity of its taste.
They suddenly realize that if they were to give the same attention to sex as they did with the raisin then likely they’d discover a whole new sensory experience even beyond what the raisin exercise demonstrated.
That powerful realization that a rich pleasurable world is already there for us is something we must not ignore when looking for ways to have better sex life–and that means paying attention and focusing more on our senses instead merely going through motions from start until finish.
The Mind-Body Disconnection: Why Women’S Sexual Arousal Can Be Out Of Sync
When it comes to sexual arousal, the body and mind must be in sync for pleasure to be achieved.
Studies show that men have high concordance levels – their bodies and minds become aroused simultaneously and to the same degree – while women are much lower at only +0.26 on the concordance scale.
To illustrate this, Gina participated in a study which involved watching explicit films, with her physical arousal (vaginal probe) being monitored, along with her mental arousal (a hand-held lever).
It was revealed that physically, Gina was highly aroused by what she saw, yet mentally she wasn’t really in tune with it – thinking instead about her kid’s upcoming birthday party!
This disconnect between mind and body can cause issues when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure.
Through follow-up sessions of mindfulness treatment, Gina learned how important it is for both body and mind to be in sync during sex.
With this knowledge, her concordance levels eventually increased, indicating successful synchronization of the two.
It is clear then: achieving sexual arousal and pleasure requires both body and mind working together harmoniously!
Understanding And Appreciating Your Body Through Mindful Self-Exploration
Mindful awareness of your body is the key to more positive sexual experiences.
By exploring your body with curiosity and without pressure, you can learn to understand and accept its responses to arousal.
With Noreen Brotto’s group mindfulness sessions, women have the chance to use a hand-held mirror at home to explore their bodies, mindfully and without judgment, something that many have never done before.
Also, meditations focused on awareness of sexual sensations allow women the opportunity to reach arousal through fantasy or with the help of a vibrator – and then observe all those individual sensations in different parts of their genitals.
This helps them appreciate the nuances of pleasure and gain an understanding of how their bodies work during sex that they wouldn’t otherwise have access to.
This mindful approach is extremely beneficial when it comes to learning how to feel comfortable in one’s own skin and understand one’s own responses during intimate moments.
Women often feel ashamed about their body or have inaccurate ideas about it which leads them to avoid certain activities during sex.
With this new understanding of bodily sensations, many find that they are more in tune with themselves and willing explore activities more freely than before.
Mindful awareness of your body will help you feel more at ease with yourself and with sex.
Mindfulness: A Surprisingly Effective Solution To Chronic Genital Pain During Sex
For many women, sex can be an uncomfortable experience due to pain.
Around 15% of North American women suffer from provoked vestibulodynia, or PVD – a condition which causes sharp pain with even the softest touch to the vulva or vagina.
While creams have been tried as solutions for alleviating these symptoms, research indicates that the intensity of this pain is partially cognitive and therefore might be best addressed through mindfulness.
Mindfulness therapy for those with chronic genital pain encourages participants to tune into their individual physical sensations – assessing qualities of the pain in terms of duration and spread- while also focusing on positive sensations they experience during sexual contact in order to manage any discomfort that arises.
When Savannah was diagnosed with PVD and explored mindfulness as a treatment, she found that her intense pain gradually improved and her interest in sex returned.
By focusing more intently on physical lessons and less on emotional/cognitive reactions, she was able to diminish her pain levels significantly enough to enjoy sex again.
Wrap Up
The main takeaway from this book on better sex through mindfulness is that our brains are our most powerful sexual organs and that how we think is at the core of how we experience sex.
Through mindfulness practices, like eating all meals mindfully for three days, we can become more present with ourselves and our partners and enhance our sexual pleasure.
This book offers actionable advice to help us engage more deeply in mindful meditation and learn to appreciate the senses around us.
By adopting the tools provided by this book and mastering a mindful approach to pleasure, we can enjoy sex even better.
