Key Messages
The Pros And Cons Of The Tiger Mom: Amy Chua’S Child-Rearing Techniques Revealed
Discover the power of being a Tiger Mom with the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by author Amy Chua.
She gives her take on parenting and providing children with the proper guidance and support they need to reach their highest potential.
With her book, you’ll get an insight into the authoritarian Chinese style of child-rearing, which entails countless demands and expectations, loads of criticism and a deep belief that your children can accomplish anything they put their minds to.
In this book, you’ll discover why school plays don’t matter to a Tiger Mom, why it’s okay to tell your child “fatty, lose some weight,” and how not caring about hurting your children’s self-esteem can help ensure they give their best effort in everything they do.
Dive into the world of being a Tiger Mom and find out if it could work for you!
The Primary Differences Between Chinese And Western Parenting Styles
When it comes to parenting their children, Chinese and Western parents have drastically different perspectives.
While Western parents prioritize high self-esteem above all else and strive to protect their children from criticism or hurt feelings, Chinese parents believe in teaching inner strength and resilience, even if it means sacrificing their child’s self-esteem for the sake of improvement.
Moreover, Chinese parents hold the belief that children owe everything to them – likely due to traditional values of respect as well as the resources put into their education.
Finally, Chinese parents take a much more firm approach by dictating what their children should spend time on while Western parents give them a range of choices and simply help guide them towards making the right decisions.
It’s no surprise then that Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother portrays the massive distinction between Chinese and Western parental mind-sets when it comes to raising children.
Chinese Parents Believe In Effort Over Talent, Preferring Preparation For A Successful Future To Following Passions
Chinese parents are known for their strong commitment to preparing their children for the future.
They understand that success requires hard work and effort – often long hours of practice and dedication – and don’t let their children give up so easily.
For example, when Louisa, the author’s daughter was assigned a difficult piano piece to learn and was , Louisa failed to get it right even after practicing for hours, her Chinese mother forced her to keep trying until she was able to play the whole piece correctly.
This is crucial in teaching the child that they can improve and push past obstacles if they persevere.
Meanwhile, many Western parents may try avoiding losing games or only focus on encouraging their children in activities they are interested in.
Chinese parents, however, focus on providing them with skills needed to succeed in the future instead of just pursuing what they are passionate about.
The author grew up without being able to make decisions on her own, but this rigorous childhood led her to eventually become successful later in life- an experience not uncommon within Chinese households.
Striving For Excellence, Not Happiness: The Power Of The Tiger Mother
The way Chinese parents bring up their children is often perceived as strict and without any fun or happiness.
Generally, these parents believe that in order to be good at something, it must require a lot of practice.
So when their children start to learn something new, they push them to persevere even if it means going through lots of hard work.
This was the case for Amy Chua’s daughter Sophia who had to practice piano for three hours every day.
The end result was that within time she became very good at playing the piano, and her confidence improved thanks to the praise from others.
With more confidence and less difficulty in completing tasks, Sophia started to enjoy the process of learning more than she would have if her mother didn’t push her hard from the beginning.
Without ever addressing happiness or having any specific focus on fun activities, many Chinese children remain happy regardless of their packed schedules and high demands from parents.
In comparison, Western children don’t seem as content even with having much more flexible schedules and discussing ‘happiness’ directly with their parents.
It appears then that happiness is not necessarily a primary factor when bringing up children well.
The Difference Between Western Parenting And Tiger Mothering: A Closer Look
Chinese parents often have a reputation for being no-nonsense when it comes to their children.
They prioritize results and have high expectations of their children, from academic performance and behavior to physical appearance.
This often manifests as a stricter parenting style than is typical in the West.
The Chinese mother may expect one hour of piano practice each day, while Western parents might admit to being “strict” at that level.
Moreover, Chinese parents are very direct with their children, and not afraid to point out flaws in a very blunt manner.
While Western mothers may feel the need to be more tactful in giving feedback, Chinese mothers do not hesitate to say things like “Hey fatty, lose some weight!”
When evaluating academics and other achievements, Chinese mothers tend to demand straight As while other parents settle for positive encouragement.
Unlike Western parents who err on the side of caution in expressing disappointment, Chinese parent openly communicate their expectations without sugar coating it.
On top of that, Chinese parents also tend to show favoritism when discussing the accomplishments of their children with others – boasting about the smart one and pointing out faults for the less academically gifted.
The Three Generations Of Chinese Immigrants Show A Decline In Successive Generations
Strict behavior has become standard across generations of Chinese immigrants due to their drive to be successful and provide the best life possible for their children.
This is demonstrated in Amy Chua’s book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother where she recounts the history and pattern of behavior of the three generations of Chinese immigrants.
Amy’s parents started with next to no finances, but worked until they became successful, investing all they could into their children’s education and future.
The next generation inherited their parenting style, also becoming high achievers thanks to their parents.
But, this strict behavior with hopes for perfection has changed in the youngest generation.
This new generation born into a comfortable life have friends who get paid for B-pluses, attend private schools and are protected by US Constitution rights that allow them to disobey their parents.
Consequently, it appears this recent pool of younger Chinese immigrants will not be as successful as those before them due to a less strict parenting style that doesn’t push them towards excellence as much as in previous generations.
Wrap Up
In Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua lays out her Chinese parenting style in which she pushes her children to maximize their potential.
She believes in holding them to very high standards, setting strict rules and boundaries, and insisting on complete obedience and dedication to their academic work.
The key takeaway from this book for parents is that when it comes to helping your children succeed, you should set clear standards and expectations.
You should also provide them with guidance and support as they strive towards excellence in their studies, so that they can be better prepared for future challenges.
Finally, you must trust in your children’s ability to reach those goals with hard work and dedication.
