Key Messages
How to Negotiate Successfully: A Guide to Asking for What You Deserve
The key to getting what you want and deserve is all in the art of negotiation—asking for it.
In Ask For It, readers will get a clear understanding on how to ask for what they need and why it’s important.
Through this book, readers will learn techniques on effective negotiation skills and be better equipped to navigate through any situation or request, big or small.
From decision-making over wanting a pet cat or dog with your partner to negotiating salaries, the process is all outlined in Ask For It by providing insights from The Closer drama series as well as exploring differences between male and female perspectives of the world.
Crucially, readers will understand BATNA (Best Alternative To A Negotiated Agreement) and how it can help them achieve their desired outcomes without sacrificing themselves in the process.
At its core, learning how to negotiate the right way can help open doors that may have been closed before and put power back into your hands to ask for what you want—and make sure that you actually get it.
Realize Your Dreams: How To Find Out What You Truly Want in Life
Finding out what you want in life can be difficult if you don’t take the time to think about it.
All too often, we get caught up in the expectations of society and find ourselves following a path that doesn’t truly make us happy.
That’s why taking a moment to ask yourself “what’s missing?” is essential in determining what will really make you content.
Take Vanessa, for example; a friend of the author’s who wasn’t sure which career path to follow after college.
Both her mother and sister had become teachers so she felt like it was only fitting that she do so as well – but after trying it out, she learned that it wasn’t the right move for her.
After closing her eyes and visualizing what she truly wanted, Vanessa realized she would rather be working outdoors – cue the birth of her landscaping company!
Michele is another story of someone who knew something was missing from their life but just couldn’t put their finger on it.
A principal with a good job and loving family, Michele still felt unfulfilled for some reason – until she remembered something from her childhood: drawing and sketching!
She soon signed up for drawing classes and reignited an old passion of hers which brought balance back into her life.
Women Need to Reclaim Their Power and Learn to Negotiate for Higher Salaries
Over the past decades, studies have revealed that women tend to think differently from men when it comes to their personal circumstances.
Whereas men are more likely to believe that life is a place full of opportunities, women often feel as though life is controlling them.
As a consequence, women often cope with different situations without complaint and don’t see themselves as having any real influence over what happens in those situations.
This has particularly been seen in the workplace, where one 2006 survey showed that 85% of men believed they decide what their value in the workplace is and that it’s up to them to ask for a fair salary.
On the other hand, only 17% of women agreed with this statement – many believing they have no control over their wages or worth at work.
This imbalance of power has led to countless cases of women not asking for decent salaries and wages despite being qualified and being deserving of more money.
Women need to recognize that they do have influence over their lives and should take up the necessary steps (such as negotiating) to ensure they get paid appropriately for their work.
This isn’t just advantageous for women but also contributes towards achieving global gender parity in terms of pay.
The Art of Negotiation: How to Prepare for Change and Successfully Achieve Your Desired Outcomes
Negotiation happens every day, so it’s important to be prepared for it.
Whether you’re requesting something small like a no-croutons salad or something larger, like asking for a four-day work week, the same fundamental rules still apply: don’t bully or lie and be ready to exchange reasonable information.
In order to become an effective negotiator, preparation is key.
Professional negotiators recommend considering future scenarios with back-up plans in case things don’t turn out as expected.
For example, researching your BATNA prior to a job negotiation can help ensure that if you don’t get your desired salary, you will have an alternative offer from another potential employer.
The secret to successful negotiating is knowing how much to ask for — and being prepared beforehand can definitely set you up for success!
Having the Right Information is Key to Successful Negotiation
When you’re negotiating, it’s important to remember that you don’t want to ask for too much, but at the same time you don’t want to undervalue yourself either.
Asking for the right amount requires gathering information on salaries from firms in direct competition with the one where you work and making sure to research your value.
The author conducted a study which found that women tend to underestimate themselves when asking for a raise or bonus, averaging 19 percent less than men do.
Surprisingly, when it came down to entry-level salaries, women only averaged 6 percent less.
This suggests that having more readily available information on starting salaries could be influencing these numbers.
It is important not to undervalue yourself during your negotiations, so it is wise to aim higher than what you think is reasonable.
Ask yourself what would truly benefit your job and career growth and consider making bolder moves — even if they may seem impossible or absurd at first!
Armed with the right information and confidence in your abilities, there’s no limit as to what doors can be opened through negotiation.
Failing to Gather Necessary Information Can Lead to Missed Opportunities in Negotiation
When it comes to negotiations, if you want the best outcome, you need to focus not only on what you want but also on what’s important for the other party.
This is a lesson that Twyla learned the hard way when trying to secure the rights to a novel.
She was so focused solely on the financial aspect that she failed to realize that the author wanted his story portrayed accurately and was more interested in this than money.
Likewise, Ericka knew that in order to get her promotion, she needed to understand what was important to her boss.
Her boss had turned down her initial proposal but Ericka took initiative and gathered information from her colleagues; learning that a rival store was opening soon.
Knowing this, Ericka educated herself about luxury European kitchenware which appealed greatly to her boss.
The key takeaway here is that during any negotiation, you should make sure you find out what matters most for the other party before making your own offers or requests.
That way, both parties can benefit from negotiations and ensure everyone walks away with something they are happy with!
Women Make Great Negotiators Through the Use of Interest-Based Negotiations
Cooperation is generally better than competition when it comes to negotiation.
When both sides work together towards a common goal, the result is usually more favorable for both parties.
This is particularly true when considering the interests of all those involved in a negotiation.
An example of this in action is playing out the scenario between newlyweds Sophia and James.
Initially they were stuck at an impasse, with each wanting entirely different things: a beach holiday for Sophia and a camping trip for James.
But their win-win solution was achievable through cooperation!
The couple had to talk through their individual wants and needs, take into account those of each other, and come up with something that would satisfy them both – in this case, Costa Rica with its combination of beaches and hiking trails.
In fact, interest-based negotiation will always be more beneficial than position-based negotiation, where only one side’s desires are acknowledged.
For example, when offered a chairmanship position on an important committee at Heinz College, the author not only had to consider her own interests but also weigh up how her absence from teaching might affect students – so they came up with a compromise solution where she could lessen her teaching load while taking on the committee role and completing her book!
Women Should Be Mindful of Communication Style to Increase Success in the Workplace
Unfortunately, women still need to keep an eye out on the way they communicate – even if it is a man-dominated environment.
As revealed by a study conducted in 2007, if female interns act too boldly and aggressively in their career choices, they are 50 percent less likely to get hired than males who express the same level of confidence.
Meanwhile, male interns expressing assertive behavior can be excused more easily.
Even when watched by female evaluators, male aggressiveness is met with leniency whereas that same attitude from women is not tolerated as well.
On a more positive note, this doesn’t mean that women should completely back down and give up.
Rather, there are certain strategies such as using a friendly tone, keeping body language positive, and having the right kind of diplomacy which can boost their chance of landing their ideal job without appearing disrespectful or overly aggressive.
Become a “Closer” With These 4 Tips to Negotiate Successfully
In a negotiation, having success depends on your focus and patience.
Maintaining your attention on your upper target, or optimum outcome, is key to acheiving a better agreement.
Researchers from 2002 conducted by psychologist A.D.
Galinsky showed that focusing on the reservation value (minimum target) instead of the upper target resulted in agreements that weren’t ideal, costing individuals up to 11-13 percent of their salary.
It’s also important to methodically consider all aspects of a negotiation by allowing both parties enough time to express interests and concerns.
Negotiation is not a race–don’t let anyone rush you into something you may later regret or feel pressured about.
Take it slow and remember that if any emotions arise for either party during this process, take a break and come back once everyone is ready again.
When everything has been said and done keep these tips in mind the next time you enter into something as crucial as a negotiation so that you can walk away triumphant!
Wrap Up
The key message of Ask For It is that negotiation is an essential skill for women to have, and it’s important to understand how to do it effectively.
Women need to be prepared, collaborate with others, take the other person’s interests into account, and be confident about the value of what they are offering.
A key piece of actionable advice from this book is not to drop your prices too low too early when negotiating – doing this will signal that your reservation value may be lower than what you think it should be.
Overall, Ask For It provides an important insight into how women can negotiate more successfully and maximize their results.
Whether you are selling a used car or negotiating a better paycheck at work, Ask For It covers the basics so that you can confidently ask for what you want and get it!
