Key Messages
Learn How to Ask for Help and Unlock the Hidden Resources Around You
If you want to achieve success, you need to learn how to ask for help.
Too often, we let our fear of failure or looking incompetent or having an outright denial be the only thing stopping us from asking for assistance.
However, when you finally take that leap and allow yourself to ask for help, you will unleash a treasure trove of resources and new opportunities.
That’s why it’s important to learn how to ask for what you need in the right way.
In the book “All You Have To Do Is Ask”, readers can find four styles of giving and asking and three steps towards mastering the art of requesting assistance.
Additionally, readers can also learn how to create mental safety within a team or organization by properly learning how to make requests appropriately.
So if your goal is strive towards more success, remember: all you have to do is ask!
The Power of Asking: How Making Requests can Lead to Success
Asking for help can be a difficult thing to do, but it is often the bridge between us and success.
To illustrate this point, let’s look at the story of little Cristina in Romania.
After she was born, she developed a rare condition called craniosynostosis that caused her skull bones to fuse prematurely and distorted her face.
Fortunately, surgery could resolve this problem – however, there weren’t any specialists available to do it in Romania.
That’s when Cristina’s aunt Felicia stepped in.
She happened to be part of a guided activity known as a Reciprocity Ring where you can tap into the collective knowledge and resources of the group- at-large.
Felicia used this opportunity to ask for contact with an experienced pediatric cranial surgeon who could assist with Cristina’s medical issue – and fortunately was hooked up with one through a fellow participant in the group that was a pediatrician!
This illustrates how asking for help is indeed an essential bridge between us and success- otherwise people won’t know what we need, can’t help us, and we miss out on whatever we are trying to achieve!
Studies have even proven that 90 percent of workplace help occurs after somebody has requested assistance!
The next time you feel stuck at work or overwhelmed by any problem – don’t hesitate to reach out and make use of the power of asking for help!
The Unexpected Power of Asking Strangers and Acquaintances – Don’t Underestimate Their Willingness to Help
We often assume that other people won’t be receptive to our requests for help, but research shows the opposite.
A study done by psychologits at Columbia University found that most strangers in New York City were willing to lend a phone when asked.
On average, it only took two tries!
The same goes for other forms of help: global Gallup surveys have shown that 73 percent of Americans and more than half of 140 countries surveyed had helped a stranger within the past month.
This means that we routinely underestimate other people’s willingness and ability to help.
Our closer social circles can serve as bridges to new information, solutions and resources while reach-outs to former friends may be met with both happiness and eagerness.
It pays off to remember this when facing certain problems – especially if our own organization’s systems and procedures aren’t able to aid us.
The Key to Creating a Successful Work Culture? Psychological Safety
Organizations can create various roadblocks to asking for and providing help.
An unsupportive corporate culture, out-of-date systems, rigid procedures, and punitive practices can all make it difficult, if not impossible, for employees to reach out to each other.
Kathryn Dekas from Google noted that psychological safety is essential in helping employees feel comfortable asking questions and bringing up problems – something that’s not always available in all organizations.
There may also be other factors at play when an individual won’t ask for help.
Oftentimes employers focus too much on skill set and experience when hiring someone, neglecting how they will fit into the team or how willing they are to cooperate with others.
Rich Sheridan of Menlo Innovations learned this when his team only considered technical skills: now Menlo seeks people with that ‘good kindergarten skillset’ – being respectful, cooperative, and willing to share knowledge.
Having a competitive environment or trying to rank individuals can also stifle collaboration as no one wants to risk failure by asking for help.
Even globalisation can reduce collaboration between teams due to possible time zone constraints or cultural differences.
Despite these roadblocks, it is still very possible for an organization to become collaborative – all it takes is understanding the importance of giving and receiving.
The Power of Giving and Receiving: How to Strike an Optimal Balance
Asking for help is just as important as giving it.
This is the key message behind the All You Have to Do Is Ask book summary.
In this book, we learn about the law of giving and receiving, which encourages us to help others regardless of whether they’ve helped us or are likely to help us.
It is an investment that will yield powerful returns over time.
The design firm IDEO already uses this law to its advantage through its “culture of helping”, where colleagues are encouraged to share knowledge and ask for help when needed.
We also learn about four general styles of giving and asking: The overly generous giver, The selfish taker, The lone wolf and The giver-requester.
Each style has different approaches and benefits but the greatest rewards come from those who can both give help while at the same time knowing when to ask for help themselves.
By fostering a culture of mutually beneficial giving and asking you can be well on your way towards success!
Learning to Ask for What You Need: A Practical Guide to Asking the Right People in the Right Way
Learning how to make effective requests is a critical skill if you want to get closer to your goal.
Whether you need help with a small task or something bigger, asking for assistance is always more productive than trying it alone.
To make an effective request, you must know what your goal is, and be sure that your request meets the SMART criteria.
SMART stands for specific, meaningful, action-oriented, realistic, and timebound – all of which must be taken into account when making a request.
Being specific about what the request entails is essential; explaining the reason behind the request will make it more meaningful; laying out clear actions that need to be taken in order to assist will help attain clarity; asking for something plausible will ensure better chances at success; and having a definite timeline will help keep everyone on track.
Additionally, when asking someone for something it’s important to do some research on who might have expertise related to the request being made— “who knows whom?” Connecting with those who can best help might involve some networking but it’s worth investing in this step as it makes communication much easier.
Finally, understanding how a particular person prefers communication is key – there’s not one right way to ask – so tailor your method based on their preferences.
Despite possible rejection along the way, keep trying: even JK Rowling received 12 no’s before her Harry Potter books were accepted!
It is essential for teams and organizations to create environments where employees feel comfortable discussing mistakes and asking for help
In order to encourage employees to seek the help that they need, the team norms and routines must be changed to give them permission to do so.
Leaders should set an exemplary example by asking for help whenever they themselves need it — just as Dr.
Salvador Salort-Pons did when he took charge of the Detroit Institute of Arts.
This practice is sure to become something that all members of a team will soon adopt, as it has several positive implications for the organization overall.
Several tools can be employed in order to create an atmosphere where employees feel comfortable enough for their questions not to be seen as embarrassing or difficult inquiries.
For instance, holding recurring stand-up meetings – where each member takes turns giving a brief update and addressing 3 questions: what was worked on yesterday, what’s being worked on today and any issues blocking progress – could potentially help normalize asking for assistance and push for conversations meant exclusively for that purpose.
Or if a team is new, perhaps allowing them some time to get acquainted with each other before having them dive into a task together could also make it easier for individuals to reach out in need of support.
Additionally, organizations should strive towards recruiting people who are both competent and requesters/generous givers at once – this way it is more likely that psychological safety will be established either sooner or later during their time there.
Lastly, activities like the Reciprocity Ring serve as an opportunity wherein everyone makes a request then pauses while every other participant considers how they might best offer help pertaining said request — being especially useful if collaborations across organizational divides come up down the line.
Companies Can Bridge Structural Divides Through Creative Solutions such as Games, Continuing Education Programs, and Flexible Budgeting
Tapping into a broad range of people and resources can help you get the most out of your requests.
Kent Power is an example of this, as they used regular one-on-one phone calls between executives and superintendents to bridge communication gaps and build better relationships – with no talk of work!
Another way to leverage a variety of people and resources is through executive education programs.
These specialized courses bring in employees from different departments, offices or even countries.
Not only do they help colleagues learn more about their roles within the company, but they also unite teams who are working on similar projects, allowing them to gain insight into each other’s processes.
Robert’s story proves how useful these programs can be – he was able to resolve an issue quickly because he knew someone from his program who worked in the same department!
Flexible budgeting is yet another tool companies should use when attempting to access multiple resources.
By allotting funds from one department to another, firms can secure necessary funding for promising ventures; this happened at Hopelab where one project manager redirected funds from their own group so that $100K could be made available for pursuit of a strategic communications opportunity.
Reward and Recognize People for Asking for Help to Build an Engaged, Motivated Workforce
When it comes to creating a more engaged, motivated and productive workforce in your company, recognizing and rewarding both those who give help as well as those who ask for help is key.
The Globoforce Workplace Research Institute conducted a survey showing that over 20 percent of full-time employees in the U.S report that they rarely get any recognition for their work.
That’s why at the Levine Greenberg Rostan literary agency, they emphasize that it’s just as important to recognize and reward staff members who ask for help as those who provide help.
This can range from simply mentioning them during team meetings to providing incentives like Amazon gift cards or other rewards.
For example, Algentis, an HR outsourcing firm offers its High-5 program which gives out $25 Amazon gift cards to people who go above and beyond tohelp one another out.
This encourages collaboration amongst teams and makes asking for help much less of a stigma.
It’s important to note that recognition and rewards should be frequent, repeated, authentic, and personalized in order to have optimum effectiveness.
Taking the time to show appreciation is always worth it because both the giver and receiver are rewarded with feelings of joy and pride when being acknowledged by their peers!
Wrap Up
The final summary of All You Have To Do Is Ask by Arden Clise is that expressing our needs and asking for help has immense benefits.
At work, it makes us more effective, opens up new job opportunities, allows us to adapt quickly to new circumstances and improves team performance and creativity.
As a result, the next time we need help, it’s important that we don’t shy away from asking for it.
To increase appreciation for both askers and givers at your workplace, consider creating a gratitude wall complete with blank “thank you” cards.
Staff members can use these cards to write notes to colleagues who have asked for or given help.
These notes can then be either delivered personally or stuck back on the wall.
Appreciation should be expressed to those who ask for help as well as those who give it!
