Key Messages
Why It’s Never Been Better to be a Single Woman in America
American single women have had to struggle for social equality in every era since the country’s founding.
For over 250 years, these women have served as essential members of society by helping build America and contributing to important victories during wars.
But even though single women have come a long way in recent decades, times are still not easy for them.
Companies and media outlets alike now recognize the unfairness of things like the gender pay gap, but that doesn’t mean that the struggle for equality is over yet.
Through All The Single Ladies readers can discover why being single is still met with suspicion by some today, what it was like for single women in previous eras, and why currently there’s never been a better time than now to be a single woman in America.
The Anita Hill Case Paved the Way for More Women In Politics
The Hill-Thomas hearings in the early 1990s made workplace sexual harassment a national talking point.
Anita Faye Hill alleged that her former employer, soon-to-be Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, had subjected her to repeated sexual comments and remarks, including lewd acts and the size of his penis.
Her claims were dismissed due to both her age at the time as well as her unmarried status – many believed she was incapable of maintaining healthy relationships with men.
Despite this dismissal, the hearings became national news and sparked outrage among American women who saw them as evidence of an unfair lack of representation in the lawmaking process.
In response, more women than ever before took part in their political process by running for Senate seats – four of whom succeeded in winning their race – bringing attention to the fight against workplace sexual harassment and proving that something had to change within our country’s halls of power.
The Struggle for Single Women’s Rights in Early America: From Scorned Thornbacks to Independent Professionals
It is clear that the marginalization of women in America stretches back centuries.
In the seventeenth century, unmarried women were forbidden by law to own property.
Widows with no assets were left reliant on community or family relations and single women received strained looks and “thornback” comments from those around them.
Things began to change in the 1770s when men left to fight in the Revolutionary War.
This left women to fend for themselves and take charge of their family property or business, and it was also at this time that radical feminist ideas originating from the French Revolution began making their way across the Atlantic and being discussed by American women.
By the mid-nineteenth century, an economic and population boom allowed for more social opportunities for women, especially due to an influx of teaching and nursing jobs increasing independently supported wellbeing for many women like Louisa May Alcott who stayed unpartnered her whole life.
The Benefits of City Living for Single Women Throughout History
Urban centers have always been a hub of opportunity for single women.
Throughout history, many young, single ladies have moved to the big city to find jobs in diverse and sometimes dangerous occupations.
In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, this included positions such as seamstresses, washerwomen, bakers and even nurses!
During the Industrial Revolution, the number of jobs available for single women continued to multiply with textile factories offering more opportunities than ever before.
Though jobs were often difficult and unrewarding, many women still chose to pursue them rather than servitude back home.
Following World War Two, women’s involvement in the workforce increased dramatically as economic booms demanded an influx of workers.
Whether it was escaping an unhappy family life or simply wanting a new start in a place that accepted them – single women moved to cities all over the world to find their way in life.
The Power of Female Friendships: Finding Love and Support in Non-Romantic Relationships
Modern single women are recognizing that powerful female friendships can be just as valuable and fulfilling as a romantic relationship – without having to be sexual.
This new way of thinking is leading women to seek out platonic female relationships for both empowerment and support.
Take the story of author Aminatou Sow and her best friend Ann Friedman.
The two met in 2009, and soon formed an incredibly deep friendship based on their shared interests in literature, politics, and fashion.
They even started a blog together!
It was clear that their bond was far more than simply being “good friends” – it was an intense source of trust and emotional understanding.
Regardless of the struggles they each faced in their lives, they could always turn to each other for advice and support; something they had never experienced from male partners before.
As society continues to become increasingly populated by single women, there is no doubt that these types of invaluable female friendships will become even more important going forward.
Women are realizing the potential that these platonic relationships offer and embracing them wholeheartedly now more than ever before.
The Joy of Being Single: Embracing a Life of Independence and Opportunity
Many single women fear the loneliness that comes with being independent, but time and again, these women prove that there can be great rewards to living solo.
Rebecca Wiegand Coale rejected the notion of “singlehood”, highlighting that her happiest years were spent without a significant other.
While she was in a relationship and did everything with her husband, Coale sometimes felt that the arrangement was actually quite lonesome.
When she found herself alone-again though, opportunity bloomed!
She embraced this newfound freedom by taking up sports and building lifelong friendships with fellow single ladies.
Instead of relying solely on one partner to fulfill all her needs, she had many men in her life to call upon which granted her quite a bit of autonomy.
This ‘connection’ circle became the inspiration for Coale’s book about modern dating: Gaggle: The 7 Men You’ll Meet on Your Journey Toward True Love.
Kitty Curtis also understood how daunting it can be to find yourself suddenly solo after being in a relationship for so long.
What surprised Kitty though was how freeing it felt.
She could now follow dreams and embrace adventures without considering anyone else’s plan or opinion of them.
Curtis capitalized on this freedom by travelling around the globe – something that wasn’t possible before when she was attached to her former beau!
Single Women Take Back Control and Challenge Sexual Norms
Single, sexually active women are becoming increasingly seen as a threat to men in relationships and to society at large.
As women take control of their sex lives and begin to enjoy it for its own sake, instead of just as something required for long-term commitment or marriage, it has made them appear far less needy and insecure when it comes to interacting with men.
This idea is especially evidenced by the work of Frances Kissling: after cutting her fallopian tubes in order to be more adventurous when it comes to sex without having to worry about the fear of getting pregnant, she found herself on a level playing field with men which can be quite intimidating for some men who were not used to dealing with that.
Furthermore, single, sexually liberated women are often presented in media as a danger to existing social and cultural norms.
For example, “hookup” culture on college campuses–where partners meet up for no-strings-attached sex–has been documented by journalists and readers alike.
However, recent studies have shown that young women today are actually far more responsible about sex than their baby boomer mothers were; in fact, the percentage of sexually active teenage girls has dropped from 51% down to 43%.
Women Face the Challenge of Pursuing Career Ambitions and Starting Families as Outdated Views Endure
For many women, marriage delay is an often-chosen strategy to secure professional success and gain stability prior to becoming mothers.
This trend has been seen among prominent figures such as Senators Kirsten Gillibrand, Amy Klobuchar and Loretta Lynch who all married later in life after they established themselves in their desired career path.
Research indicates that this is a widespread ambition amongst women – in 2000 only 34 percent of women aged 25 to 34 had never married, but by 2008, nearly half (46 percent) had done so.
It’s clear that modern women are determined to attain professional fulfillment before taking on the added responsibilities of motherhood.
As these influential leaders have demonstrated, postponing marriage can bring more fulfilment along with economic independence and job satisfaction than they could have achieved otherwise.
Gender Inequality is an Issue We Must Fight for Together
It’s undeniable that male dominance in business and other career paths still persists, with only 4.8 percent of America’s top-earning CEOs being women, according to the Fortune Magazine list.
And while that statistic is a great accomplishment for womanhood, it is still telling us we have much to do to create gender equality in our society.
The gender pay gap means that for every 78 cents a woman earns, a man will be paid a dollar.
This statistic is further compounded when comparing white men and women with similar educational backgrounds – the woman still earns less.
So even though there are positive female success stories (such as single professional women earning 8 percent more than similarly aged men), this isn’t without the help of underpaid immigrant workers.
Therefore, this should be an ongoing reminder to never forget about these marginalized people and ensure their voice is heard too because as part of creating true gender equality for all women, we must continue to fight for not just one group but all groups facing inequality!
Wrap Up
The final takeaway from All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister is that being single doesn’t mean you are sad, flawed or lonely.
In fact, as she points out, there are many advantages to being single; you have the freedom to explore, find new friends and pursue passions that you may never have thought possible with a partner.
The book serves as an affirmation for modern independent women who don’t need a man to lead successful, fulfilling lives full of love and support.
For any single ladies out there who may be feeling sad about their life circumstances, this book is essential reading – it reminds them to take advantage of their newfound freedom and grow from it.
