Key Messages
13 Habits for Mental Strength and Resilience in Trying Times
In her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, Amy Morin helps readers overcome what’s holding them back and live the life they dream of.
She helps to do this by providing real-life examples of how bad habits can be replaced with better ones.
She shares her own journey of learning to take calculated risks, collaborating instead of competing for success, and earning rather than deserving rewards.
The book also offers listeners music and sound elements in audio version which make it easier for readers to listen and internalize the lessons within.
The ultimate goal is to give hope and inspire people who are struggling by helping them break down their barriers and achieve success that is not just tangible but also meaningful.
By equipping readers with this mental toolbox, Morin encourages them to build strength and ultimately overcome their struggles so that they can realize the life that they have always dreamed of.
It’s Time to Break the Cycle of Self-Pity and Embrace Gratitude
Mentally strong people know the power of gratitude to provide a positive outlook on life.
They understand that feeling sorry for themselves is self-destructive and doesn’t serve them in any way.
As Amy Morin discovered, it isn’t uncommon for two people to be confronted with the same situation and have drastically different reactions.
Mentally strong individuals opt instead to exchange their self-pity with gratitude.
The antidote is to sit down and write a list of all the good things that you have.
Doing this over time will help you fully grasp life’s gift and train your mind to remain in an attitude of thankfulness.
It can also be helpful to keep a daily gratitude journal, where you list at least one thing per day which you are grateful for.
Furthermore, share it with those around you so your emotions become more complimented by saying thank you out loud.
By forging a habit of replacing self-pity with gratitude, mentally strong people lay a foundation for long-term resilience when faced with inevitable setbacks as well as momentary bumps in the road.
They are not discouraged by negative moments; rather they use them as an opportunity to deepen their appreciation in life’s gifts!
Mentally Strong People Don’t Let Other People Have Power Over Them
Mentally strong people are not afraid of taking control over their own lives and standing up for themselves while also finding the strength to forgive others.
This can be seen in the story of Lauren, a loving mother with two children whose family life was nearly picture perfect except for her mother-in-law who had an overbearing attitude.
Through her unannounced visits and constant criticism of Lauren’s parenting style, including comments about her weight, Lauren allowed her mother-in-law to take away precious family time and eat up hours of Lauren’s week.
It wasn’t until Lauren realized that she was letting her mother-in-law have power over her that things changed.
She sat down with her husband and decided to set respectful but clear boundaries so that she could take back control of both her home and life.
After having a talk with her mother-in law, issues began to settle.
Through being mentally strong and regaining power, as well as forgiving others for their mistakes, Lauren took back what was hers in peace and harmony.
How Mentally Strong People Handle Change: Break Down Goals and Have a Plan
Mentally strong people are never afraid to face change head-on.
Rather than being fearful and resistant, they embrace it and use it as an opportunity to grow.
To them, change is seen as a challenge that can be overcome and conquered, rather than something to fear.
Richard was frustrated when his doctor told him he needed to make a lifestyle change in order to get healthier.
He decided to take the plunge and attempt radical change–such as swearing off junk food completely and hitting the gym–which ultimately was too much for him to handle at once, leading him back to his old habits.
Mentally strong people don’t just jump headfirst into radical change—they know that incremental progress leads to long-term success.
Knowing this, they break down their ambitions into smaller, more attainable goals with tangible action steps that can be taken on a daily basis.
Richard learned from his mistake and now sets out mini-goals for himself each week instead of looking forward too far down the line.
Along with setting these realistic goals, he also puts together plans of how he will meet them—like using journals or going on walks with his family afterward dinner if he doesn’t make it to the gym.
The Power of Acknowledging What We Cannot Control: A Lesson From James’s Story
Mentally strong people understand that there are some things in life they cannot control, and therefore don’t spend their time trying to change them.
They instead focus on the things they can control and take steps to make the best out of the circumstances.
Take James, for example.
Even though he was upset that his ex-wife took his daughter whale watching before their own trip, he acknowledged there was nothing he could do about it.
He had limited control over how she spent her time with their daughter, so instead of complicating things further by getting angry, he decided to make the most out of histime with his daughter.
Mentally strong people recognize that ultimately it does no good to keep running into walls when trying to control what is uncontrollable.
Once you accept this fact and learn to let go, you’ll be better able to focus on making progress where it really counts –the things within your power!
How to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Find More Balance in Life
People-pleasers are driven by the need to seek approval of others, rather than relying on their own opinions and values.
However, always wanting to please others doesn’t work in the long run as it can lead to burnout, damage relationships and become a source of stress.
It is important for people-pleasers to remember that it’s not their job to make everyone happy all the time and that it’s okay if someone else feels mad or upset.
In order to overcome this problem, those affected need to take some time before responding ‘yes’ or ‘no’, and resist the automatic impulse to agree with whatever is asked from them.
The good news is that by being ready to sometimes displease other people, you are actually acting more mentally strong.
When you stand up for yourself and learn how to communicate your needs without guilt or shame, then you become much stronger both emotionally and psychologically.
How Mentally Strong People Handle Risks by Taking Calculated Ones
Mentally strong people understand that great opportunities come along with risk.
Although they may be apprehensive at first, they nevertheless push through and take calculated risks in order to reach their goals.
This is how Dale managed his dream of starting a furniture store.
While he was naturally hesitant to make such a leap due to the potential risks involved, he realized it was an either-or decision he did not have to make.
Instead, he found a way of taking a more moderate approach – by just getting started on a part-time basis at first.
After some thought and research on the pros and cons of doing this, Dale felt much more confident about the venture and was able to move forward with it in an informed way.
This is what separates mentally strong individuals from those who are merely dreaming about their goals: actionable steps that lead to successful outcomes.
Are you ready to take your life into your own hands? Mentally strong people set aside any fears related to risk-taking and forge ahead with confidence – because they know that calculated risk-taking often leads to fulfilling rewards!
How to Strengthen Your Mental Fortitude: Acknowledge and Move On from Your Past and Recognize the Interconnectedness of Thoughts, Behavior, and Emotions
If you want to become mentally strong, one essential step is to come to terms with your past.
This doesn’t mean that you forget about it or deny its validity.
Instead, it means acknowledging what has happened and experiencing the emotions associated with that without getting overwhelmed.
However, simply recognizing that you have a past isn’t enough; if you really want to be mentally strong, taking concrete steps to move forward is necessary.
One way of doing this is through acceptance.
You must accept the things that cannot be changed and forgive those who have wronged you.
This can help lift some of the burdens of the past from your shoulders and allow you to focus on what’s ahead instead of dwelling on what happened in the past.
Next, shift your thoughts onto something new and start making plans for your future instead of replaying negative scenes repeatedly in your mind.
Creating goals will give structure and purpose back into your life while keeping your mind focused on achievable tasks that are meaningful for you right now.
Learning from Mistakes: How Mentally Strong People Rise Above Failure
Mentally strong people are well aware of the value of not repeating their mistakes, and to prevent that from happening requires self-discipline.
This is why it’s so important to study our past experiences to gain insight into what we should do differently in the future.
To make sure we don’t backslide into making the same mistakes, we need to practice self-discipline.
For example, Rowland Macy originally chose a prime location in Massachusetts for his shop which wasn’t busy enough and ended up throwing a parade on a really hot day which led him to get in debt.
He learned from this experience and chose a better location when he opened again, resulting in Macy’s becoming one of the biggest chain stores in the world.
In order to practice self-discipline while achieving our goals, one tactic is to keep your eyes on the prize and focus on how great it will feel once you have achieved it.
It could be anything from finally finishing that novel or saving for that dream vacation – whatever pushes us towards motivation can help us stay on track and prevent us from falling down the same mental traps again and again.
Making lists of previously made mistakes also helps remind you not repeat them in the future.
Lastly, making it hard for yourself accidentally make those mistakes (ie leaving your credit card at home before going out) can provide an extra guarantee of self discipline that we can use as an added deterrent against making any errors repeatedly.
How Mentally Strong People Avoid Resentment Towards Others
Mentally strong individuals understand that comparing themselves to others is never productive.
Instead of allowing envy to overcome them, they view comparison as an opportunity for growth.
They recognize the value in learning from peers and look at success outside of themselves as a boost rather than a hindrance.
As such, mentally strong people don’t feel resentful when others around them are succeeding.
Instead, they embrace collaboration and recognize that their successes come from the support of their network.
Furthermore, they take time to gain clarity on what success looks like to them which allows them to appreciate achievements made by those around them without feeling envy or jealousy.
When faced with the successes of their peers, mentally strong people take it as a sign of motivation and opportunity for growth, seeking out chances to learn from and even make connections with those who have accomplished more than them.
They’re open about acknowledging other’s successes as well as supportive in helping others reach their goals through collaboration and connection rather than basking in the green-eyed monster called envy.
How to Develop Mental Strength Through Tackling Failure with Self-Compassion
It’s no secret that mentally strong people don’t give up easily, and they also have a much healthier attitude towards failure.
They understand that every failure is an opportunity for them to learn and grow.
Thomas Edison famously embraced his failures as learning experiences and saw them as a stepping stone to greater successes.
It can be difficult to maintain this attitude in the face of adversity – we often default to feeling ashamed or embarrassed by our failed attempts.
This can cause some people to avoid challenging situations altogether, deciding it’s easier just to give up rather than persevere.
The key to developing mental strength is having the right mindset when it comes to handling failure; this means getting rid of any unhealthy beliefs one may have about success or failure, and being kinder and more self-compassionate towards oneself during these times.
Having realistic expectations about what is possible based on their abilities and commitment enables mentally strong people to push themselves further without overstressing themselves.
The Benefits of Spending Time Alone and Recharging Your Battery
Mentally strong people are incredibly resilient, and have the ability to tolerate discomfort in a constructive way.
They understand that sometimes being alone and giving your thoughts space is crucial for mental well-being – it can help with stress management, life satisfaction, and even recharge your batteries!
That’s why mentally strong people aren’t scared of being alone and make sure to schedule time for themselves.
And instead of watching TV or scrolling on social media for hours on end, they use meditation or mindfulness practices as a way to quiet their minds.
Take Vanessa as an example – she was exhausted from her busy work days but found it difficult to fall asleep due to racing thoughts which can keep her awake all night.
However, once she started making time for herself and practicing both meditation and mindfulness in the evening her thoughts significantly slowed down and she fell asleep like a baby!
So if you want to become mentally stronger, start by understanding the power of being comfortable with yourself, scheduling some “me” time into your weekly routine, and using meditation or mindfulness practices to become more resilient.
We All Have a Little Bit of Entitlement Inside Us: Let’s Learn to Be Humble Instead
We all have a tendency towards an entitlement mentality; the belief that the world owes us something simply because we exist.
But people who are mentally strong focus much more on giving than taking.
They understand that when they work hard and contribute to the betterment of their communities, the rewards will come naturally – without having to wait for them to be handed out.
Mentally strong individuals take ownership of their success, instead of expecting it to be handed to them on a silver platter.
They don’t wallow in self-pity or believe that life is unfair because they don’t get what they want.
Instead, they take responsibility for what didn’t go right and strive to do better next time.
Lucas was no exception, although he may have initially thought differently about himself.
His boss saw right through him and knew he was trying too hard to get ahead by acting superiorly towards his coworkers.
By learning humility and acknowledging weaknesses within himself, Lucas changed his outlook and subsequently began improving his relationships with those around him.
Eventually, this led him to earning respect from his former detractors and boosting his own career prospects as well!
The Power of Perseverance: It Takes Patience to Achieve Our Goals
Mentally strong people know that achieving something worthwhile doesn’t happen overnight.
Success is not going to come in the form of a magic pill or a one-size-fits-all tip that works for everyone.
It takes hard work and perseverance, and even then progress may not be immediately apparent.
Marcy was an example of this mindset.
After few therapy sessions, she abandoned it after getting no quick results–and quickly saw her expectations weren’t being met as soon as she desired.
But this just isn’t how success works–there has to be a long journey full of dedication and patience before you can find yourself at the desired outcome.
In today’s world, we are used to getting what we want instantly–but if your entire life is about instant gratification, it can lead to problems down the road.
To deal with this mentality shift, put realistic expectations in place—understand that it doesn’t have to be perfect from start to finish—and practice perseverance: try abstain from instant gratification more often and break down big goals into smaller short-term objectives which help you actually feel like you’re moving forward while also energizing you further along on your journey!
Wrap Up
We’ve come to the conclusion of our journey–the 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do book summary.
We covered many important points about cultivating mental strength and changing your outlook on life for the better.
These points included refraining from feeling sorry for yourself, never giving away your power to others, embracing change, not fretting over things you can’t control, avoiding worrying about pleasing everyone, taking risks in a calculated manner, resisting looking at the past, not making the same mistakes twice, never resenting another’s success and learning patience instead of expecting immediate results.
Additionally overcoming fear of being alone and guarding yourself against feelings of entitlement should be kept in mind making the final tally 13!
So there you have it folks!
The 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do-summary was educational, eye opening and most importantly fun!
