Key Messages
Unlock the Power of Online Dating: Tips for Love and Romance in an Age of Loneliness
We all know that dating can be daunting, especially when it’s online.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
With the right attitude, and a few helpful tips, you can make dating fun and even successful.
The 121 First Dates book will give you invaluable advice on how to prepare mentally for a date, organize ahead of time and manage expectations once you’re there.
You’ll also get the skills necessary to extricate yourself from an uncomfortable or disappointing situation and help yourself cope with rejection if need be.
This section is dedicated to helping you find your perfect match so you can live happily ever after!
It teaches you the importance of pampering yourself before a date, glamming up rather than downplaying features and why your brother should never be included in photos for your dating page profile picture!
How to Set Sail on the Stormy Sea of Modern Dating
Before you go out on a first date with someone, it’s important to mentally prepare yourself as much as possible.
This means taking the time to get to know yourself and what makes you happy.
Think about what you need in order to feel good – do you need 8 hours of sleep? Do you like getting a massage? What things in life bring a sparkle to your eyes? Considering these things beforehand will make the dating process less daunting and will give you the chance to rely on yourself for support when the going gets tough.
It’s also important to keep an open mind when going on dates – don’t expect too much from them, because people can surprise you in a good way!
Be sure that you have enough time before the date begins – so if work was stressful, maybe take an hour or two before your date just for yourself, so that when it comes down to it, your energy is up and running and radiating positive vibes.
Don’t focus too much on what your date may think of you – instead focus on having some funny or uplifting stories that both you and your date can share in conversation.
How to be Successful in the World of Online Dating
Online dating has so many opportunities that it can offer, but it does take commitment and good self-presentation for success.
From Match.com to OKCupid to Tinder, there are plenty of dating sites out there, all designed to help you meet the people you want to meet much easier.
On these sites and others, you’ll be able to find people of different professions and interests – from surgeons to public speakers, rock stars to rock climbers – that you probably wouldn’t encounter in your life otherwise.
At the same time though, as with any online relationship, things could go awry if one person disappears or gets scared off.
While this shouldn’t prevent your commitment overall in finding Mr./Mrs.
Right, it’s important not to take it personally either!
When presenting yourself on a dating profile page, having a natural look is key: post at least three photos with a natural background and ones that depict who you truly are in the best light possible.
Avoid pictures taken with female friends or family members too – this may confuse viewers of your profile page.
Likewise make sure the written section is honest yet humorous and concise; no one wants a potted novel!
All in all, online dating opens many doors for potentially finding The One but also needs effort from users regarding commitment as well as good self-presentation on their profile pages.
How to Negotiate Setting Up an Online Date: The Do’s and Don’ts of Choosing a Meeting Place
Online dating sites can be a great way to meet the right person – someone you may click with and could have a relationship with.
But many people forget that, in the end, online dating is just a tool to help you meet that special someone.
It’s not meant for endless email conversations or extended social media tirades.
The truth is, internet romances are often doomed from the start because they live solely in virtual space and never progress beyond that.
Without actually meeting face-to-face, it’s impossible know whether or not you two will actually connect on an emotional level.
That’s why, once you’ve found a promising partner online, it’s imperative to set up an actual date as soon as possible!
When your prospect asks where you’d like to meet for your first date, don’t simply suggest wherever he prefers – make sure to take an active role and offer two potential locations yourself.
How you pick those places needs to match who you think will get along best with you on the date.
If there seems like there may be good conversation then opt for dinner date; if things might be more awkward then go somewhere public where leaving won’t feel too pressured.
Find the Right Balance When Searching for a Committed Partner: Make a ‘Unicorn List’ and Remain Flexible with Your Standards
When it comes to finding a partner, it’s important to find someone who you’re physically attracted to, but also someone who makes you happy and brings out the best in you.
That means striking a healthy balance between physical and emotional traits.
In 121 First Dates, the authors suggest creating a list of ‘unicorn’ qualities that you want your ideal fantasy partner to have.
These might include things like tall, empathetic, super wealthy and fantastically smart.
But then it’s important not be too rigid with the list – if some of those attributes aren’t found in one particular person, they could still make an amazing companion – they just might surprise you!
For example, if shyness is something you can relate to, then it’s perfectly acceptable for a guy who might seem shy or insecure when you initially meet him to prove to be confident as soon as he feels more comfortable around you.
To help him on his journey towards achieving this confidence, get him talking about his interests and activities that light him up – this will put him in a better state of mind where he will be able to show off his true self.
Overall, the message from the book is clear – know what you’re looking for in a man but don’t be too rigid when seeking it out because qualities that may not look attractive on paper could end up being absolutely perfect for you!
When Rejecting Someone (Or Being Rejected), Keep It Graceful and Respectful
Rejection is never easy, but it’s an essential part of the dating process.
Dealing with rejection correctly is important if you want to maintain your dignity and ensure a positive outcome for yourself and those around you.
When someone turns you down, don’t be tempted to disappear without an explanation or ignore their calls.
Be fair, honest and respectful in your communications – let them know exactly why the two of you are not compatible, instead of offering false encouragement.
On the flip side, if you turn someone down, avoid being too harsh or making them feel bad about themselves.
Just politely explain that the two of you are not a match, and don’t start blaming yourself for their lack of interest in returning your calls – there could be many reasons behind it.
Finally, don’t think that people reject your success or ambition; in most cases they just need time to adjust to such strong personalities and find out how this person would fit into their lives.
Overcoming Heartbreak: Learn How to Clear Harm From Your Body and Spirit Through Heart Healing
When faced with a difficult breakup, it is important to not suppress your pain and instead address it in an effective way.
Author Barbara Ward developed an exercise called heart healing that she recommends sharpening your ability to do.
With the help of someone you trust, you can arrange a moment of breath and relaxation before opening up about how the situation has made you feel.
Your healing partner should then apologize for what happened and repeat what was said, validating your feelings.
This will be liberating and can help clear out the harm from your body and spirit.
You don’t need to go through this process alone – You can also take care of yourself during difficult moments on your own by setting aside time for yourself and allowing those emotions to flow.
You may find relief in engaging physical activities such as going for hikes or doing yoga; something that will distract you from any lingering thoughts of past relationships.
Listen to positive mantras or affirmations and remind yourself constantly on why moving forward is a good thing, free something new and greater on the horizon!
Is Sex on the First Date OK? It Depends on What Feels Right for You
When it comes to sex on a first date, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
Everyone should listen to their own intuition and act according to how they feel.
It is possible for men and women to take things further if both parties agree, but women often fear that doing so could cheapen their perceived value.
That said, it’s important for women not to ignore or sacrifice their needs in order to make a relationship work.
There are plenty of options for those of us who aren’t ready for something too serious: having a friend with benefits, opting for an open relationship, or taking your time until you build enough trust in the person you’re seeing.
Plus, if things don’t work out with your friend with benefits because feelings start developing on either side — do consider non-exclusive relationships where there’s the opportunity of meeting new people without any commitments attached.
Finding True Happiness Together: How to Stay True To Yourself in a Relationship
Living happily ever after is possible – you just have to make sure your relationship allows you the freedom to be yourself.
In the beginning of a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the honeymoon phase and forget about what matters most to you personally.
However, as time goes on, it’s important that you maintain your sense of self and stick with what speaks to your core values and beliefs.
Don’t let societal pressures or family expectations affect how you live your life – this one is all about you!
Make sure that whatever decision you make in regards to your relationship, it aligns with what will make YOU happy – whether that means abstaining from marriage or having an intimate gathering celebrating partnership instead of a huge wedding party.
Don’t let the fear of doing something different stop you from living authentically.
As long as follow your heart and trust yourself, living happily ever is achievable.
Wrap Up
In the end, 121 First Dates offers one powerful takeaway: no matter how intimidating or daunting the dating world can seem, it does not have to be that way.
The book provides actionable advice for navigating the digital age of dating and for preparing for a successful first date.
One especially useful piece of advice is to make your Facebook research analog rather than digital in order to avoid any hurt feelings.
There are plenty of images and details on someone’s profile you may wish to learn more about, but it’s wise to print them out instead so you don’t stumble upon an unpleasant surprise.
Ultimately, 121 First Dates is about staying positive and having fun as you navigate today’s modern dating scene.
